Professional Habits Do Not Change

Content CAPTCHA LICENSE PLATE TO ENSURE THAT A HUMAN IS WRITING MY TICKET TEXAS BUN-1484 The Lone Star State

OMG, THIS CODE IS A CRIME SCENE! 😱 Look at that absolute MONSTROSITY of variable declarations stretching from line 24 to line 140! That's not code, that's a developer's cry for help written in syntax! The poor soul who has to maintain this Unity game is probably rocking back and forth in a corner somewhere. I mean, who needs comments and organization when you can just VOMIT 108 LINES OF VARIABLES into your class? Bonus points for that sad little empty Start() method at the bottom, just sitting there like "please... I just want to initialize something... ANYTHING!"

Content Er and others added 9 commits last month really bad code 9 working with ssh key facepalm 9 hello code i push 9 new code 9 this is everything Junior dev name haha lol 92 ehe is learning 9 making changes a LOT OF IT

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Content The Wise Developer TheWiseDeveloper Follow Genie: "Okay, you know how it goes - you have 3 wishes left, and no asking for extra wishes" Me: "I wish I had 0 wishes left" Genie: "Okay, you have 255 wishes left" 2:53 PM - 14 Mar 2020 368 Retweets 1578 Likes 87 17 368 1.5K

The secret sauce of looking like you know what you're doing in tech isn't the code—it's the performance art. Turn a monitor vertical, squint thoughtfully at some blue-themed IDE while occasionally muttering "scope issue" or "need to commit these changes," and suddenly you're the office wizard. The best part? The more confused you actually are, the more convincingly profound you appear. Seven years as a lead developer and I still do this during standup when I haven't made any progress since yesterday.