How To Choose Your Programming Language

Software engineering Programming languages Language wars Language comparison Flowchart Developer choices Coding stereotypes Programming satire

Programming Java Javascript php Python

3 months ago 386,206 views 0 shares

How To Choose Your Programming Language

programming-languages-memes, flowchart-memes, developer-humor-memes, language-wars-memes, coding-stereotypes-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io

OH. MY. GOD. This flowchart is the MOST SAVAGE roast of programming languages I've ever witnessed! 💀

Want to make money but you're dumb? JavaScript it is! No friends? PHP is your soulmate! Like snakes? PYTHON, OBVIOUSLY! 🐍

The audacity of asking "Are you even a human?" before recommending Perl is just... *chef's kiss*. And don't get me started on how C++ is for people who don't want to be happy. THE TRUTH HURTS!

This flowchart doesn't just choose a programming language for you—it reads your entire personality and then DRAGS IT across the floor! Whoever made this woke up and chose violence. Period.

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The classic management hierarchy in its natural habitat. Homer, the team lead, doesn't care what unholy abomination the junior devs have unleashed—as long as production stays up. Necromancy? Fine. Summoning eldritch horrors from the void? Whatever. Just don't touch the uptime metrics. The true horror isn't what they raised from the dead, but the inevitable 3AM call when whatever they conjured finally takes down the servers.