How Do You Do Fellow Programmers

Oh honey, Excel is out here putting on a costume and crashing the programmer party like it's some kind of coding language. Newsflash: being able to write formulas and maybe a macro doesn't make you Turing Complete, sweetie! But wait... it actually IS Turing Complete, which is the most chaotic plot twist in computer science history. You can technically compute ANYTHING in Excel if you hate yourself enough. So now we're all stuck pretending Excel is "just a spreadsheet" while it's literally capable of running Doom or simulating a neural network. The absolute AUDACITY. Meanwhile, we're updating our CVs like "Proficient in Python, JavaScript, and... *whispers* Excel" because every job posting demands it and we all know 90% of corporate programming is just fancy Excel sheets anyway. The villain origin story nobody asked for.