How Did You Become A Programmer?

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The eternal superiority complex of Arch Linux users has reached new heights! The chart hilariously suggests that while money and status contribute somewhat to one's attractiveness, nothing quite compares to casually dropping "I use Arch btw" in conversation. For the uninitiated, this phrase has become the unofficial slogan of Arch Linux users who can't go five minutes without mentioning their distro choice—as if manually configuring your entire system and typing obscure terminal commands somehow makes you irresistible. The fact that the Arch bar is comically larger than money and status perfectly captures the delusional self-importance that comes with using a distribution that's essentially just Linux with extra steps and fewer functioning drivers.

OMG, the programming apocalypse is HERE! 😱 Someone took Python, threw it in a blender with TikTok slang, Gen Z humor, and random nonsense, and THIS MONSTROSITY was born! We've got "glaze" instead of import, "ahh" as some kind of assignment operator, and my personal favorite - "just put the fries in the bag bro" as actual code syntax! I'm DYING! 💀 The "only in ohio:" conditional statement is sending me to another dimension. This is what happens when AI tries to learn coding from Twitter and Twitch chat simultaneously. Future job interviews be like: "Are you proficient in duke_dennis and baby_gronk syntax?" HELP!

The most honest programming language flowchart in existence. Doesn't matter if you want money, have friends, like snakes, use Windows, or question your humanity—the answer is always Rust. It's like that friend who recommends the same restaurant regardless of what cuisine you're in the mood for. The Rust evangelism task force strikes again! What's hilarious is how the flowchart pretends to offer choices while leading you down a predetermined path. Classic bait-and-switch, just like when management asks for your "input" on the tech stack for the new project.