How Did You Become A Programmer?

Content main master MAY 6, 2016

Content ProarammerHumor.io

Content prokopetz Follow He's an alpha male, in the sense of being an internal playtest build not intended for public distribution. prokopetz Follow Types of guys: 1. Alpha male 2. Beta male 3. Early access male 4. Release candidate male 5. Production male 6. Zero-day patch male 7. Console port male 8. Paid DLC male 9. Community mod male 10. Legacy male

Content Genie: You can wish for anything but infinite wishes Wish 1: I wish that Wish 2 happens after wish 3 Wish 2: I wish to be free Wish 3: I wish to be a genie Genie:

The prison conversation we never wanted to see: a hardened criminal boasting about murder while our innocent developer admits to testing in production. And somehow, the murderer is the one horrified! Testing in production is basically the digital equivalent of performing heart surgery with a butter knife while the patient is giving a business presentation. Sure, it might work, but you're one misplaced semicolon away from bringing down an entire company and making your Slack notifications explode at 2AM. Even serial killers have standards, apparently.

That moment when your colleague deploys code to production that actually works the first time. The rest of us, still running alpha builds with 47 known bugs, stare in disbelief like we've witnessed a unicorn. Stable release devs are basically mythical creatures in the wild—they commit working code, document it, AND write tests. Meanwhile, I'm over here trying to convince everyone my "it works on my machine" badge is still valid.