From Zero To NASA In Three Easy Steps

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Ah, nothing says "top-notch security" like giving a 25-year-old access to government databases AND AI systems, then watching them accidentally paste an API key on GitHub. Because what could possibly go wrong when someone has access to both Social Security data and cutting-edge LLMs? This is peak "move fast and break things" energy, except the "things" are national security and AI safeguards. The sarcastic "should fill all Americans with a deep sense of confidence" is chef's kiss material. Future historians will call this the "control-C, control-V apocalypse."

The ETERNAL LANGUAGE WAR strikes again! Someone's out here debating how to pronounce C# (is it "see sharp" or "see hashtag" or what?!) and this absolute GENIUS swoops in with "C Tic Tac Toe" and I'm DECEASED. 💀 It's like walking into a heated debate about quantum physics and suggesting the answer is "wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff." The programming language naming committee is QUAKING right now. Next up: Python will be renamed to "Snake Game" and Java to "Coffee Script." I can't with these people!

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Nature's warning system: bright yellow and black = STAY AWAY. Poison dart frogs? Deadly gorgeous. Coral snakes? Fashion-forward killers. And then there's JavaScript with its cheerful yellow logo, sitting there all innocent-looking while it casually lets you add strings to arrays, compare bananas to motorcycles, and returns "undefined" when you sneeze wrong. The comparison is *chef's kiss* because just like those venomous creatures, JavaScript lures you in with its accessibility and vibrant ecosystem, then BAM—you're debugging why [] + [] = "" but [] + {} = "[object Object]" and questioning every life choice that led you to web development. It's the programming equivalent of touching a pretty frog and immediately regretting it. But hey, at least those animals have the decency to warn you upfront. JavaScript just smiles and says "everything is fine" while your type coercion nightmares multiply in the background.