The PHP Job Posting Thunderstorm

Content Si (int) (SGET '1 ' ?? 0); if (Si 0) die( "missing '' param"); 3 while (Si - - 0) echo Si. "In"; Do you know what this is? That is dynamically weakly typed general-purpose C-like server-side scripting language sighs No. It's PHP.

Ah yes, the classic "$800,000 bootcamp" that promises to transform you into a software engineer in just 3 months by teaching you *checks notes* approximately 87 programming languages, including some that barely exist anymore. Nothing says "legitimate education" like cramming Fortran, COBOL, and Assembly alongside React and TypeScript into 90 days. The "if you can't find a job you can spit on our faces" guarantee is the cherry on top of this scam sundae. Spoiler alert: The only thing you'll master in 3 months is how to lose $800K faster than a startup with free snacks and ping pong tables.

Subtle genius at work here. In PHP, all variables start with a dollar sign ($), but the joke pretends it's because PHP developers are desperately chasing money rather than just following syntax rules. Meanwhile, JavaScript developers are over here using camelCase like they're riding economic humps to prosperity, and Python devs think whitespace will somehow pay their bills. The irony? PHP powers ~78% of the web, including Facebook, which literally prints money. So maybe those dollar signs were prophetic after all.

Content Me laughing at PHP memes for the last eight years on Reddit Me eagerly learning about modern PHP

Oh. My. GOD. The absolute AUDACITY of programming languages to name their string-splitting functions with such DRAMA! 💅 Java's all proper and boring with its lowercase split() - just SCREAMS "I have a CS degree and iron my jeans." 🙄 Then C# struts in wearing a TUXEDO with that capital S in Split() like "I'm basically Java but with STANDARDS, darling." ✨ But PHP? HONEY! PHP chose VIOLENCE with explode() because apparently splitting strings isn't DRAMATIC enough! Why divide when you can DETONATE?! The function literally TERRORIZES your strings into submission! I. CAN'T. EVEN. 💣

Content . 3 3G 12:42 73 0 1 Job details Salary 25,000 - 28,000 a year Job type Full-time Permanent Number of positions for this role 1 Full Job Description Junior Software Developer Office Based) - Laravel - PHP - JavaScript - MySQL - HTML5 - Vue.js - React.js - React Native Due to rapid growth, we're looking for a Junior Software Developer with assisting the development on our mobile and web based digital products, technical improvements, testing software and even building digital solutions from the ground up. Apply now the company ProdrammerHumor.io