Say What You Want About PHP But It's Made Me A Lot Of Money

Someone wants to build ChatGPT for $500? Sure, and I want a Ferrari for the price of a bicycle. This freelance posting is the perfect example of clients who think you can just sprinkle some PHP and Node.js on a project and suddenly have a multi-billion dollar AI platform. OpenAI burned through hundreds of millions in compute costs alone, but sure, let's build that on a budget that wouldn't even cover a junior dev's weekly salary. The 51 desperate freelancers bidding on this are either wildly optimistic or planning to deliver a glorified if-else statement with a chat interface and call it "AI."

Oh sweetie, let me tell you about the PHP ElePHPant – that adorable blue mascot that's been haunting developers' dreams since forever. You know EXACTLY where this is going the moment you see that innocent little smile. It's giving "I'm cute and harmless" energy while simultaneously being the reason your legacy codebase is held together with duct tape and prayers. That grin? That's the same energy as your production server running PHP 5.6 in 2024 because "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" (narrator: it IS broke). The ElePHPant sits there, all cheerful and optimistic, while you're debugging why == returns true when comparing a string to zero. THAT SMILE. That cursed, knowing smile that says "yes, I know about the inconsistent function naming, what are you gonna do about it?" Pure chaos wrapped in adorable packaging.

Content NOOO0O ITS SUPPOSED TOBE PRONOUNCED ENGINE-7 EN-GEENES

Content E FOSSBYTES NEWS v GEEK v SECURITY HOWTO TOPX v REI The survey revealed that PHP is the most hated programming language with 19 of developers disliking it. The second most hated language was Java with 11, followed by Objective-C in third place with 12. On the other hand, Python won the position of the most loved programming language with 51 voting for it. The second slot was taken by JavaScript with 49 and the third by Java with 37. NYPD

Content when you genuinely like PHP Don't say anything Squidward, remember your karma Programi

Content It savs here that vou have 18 vears of exerience and have fantastic references, and that you have designed and develobed four rulv reatured broiects that were successfully deployed and generated tens of millions of dollars, you have lead multiple teams, and that you have extensive experience in everything we are looking for - except I don't see React.js here. Have you ever used React? Only for personal projects. It's really just a simple Ul tramework and I am very familiar with it thoug Go fuck yourself! You don't have any professional experience, but it looks like you went to a 3-month coding boot camp. Did they cover React.js? You're hired! Oh veah. I've heard that word before! After that boot camp now I can say I'm an expert in React, C, C, Delphi, Diango, Rust, MongoDB, MS SQL Server, Flask, Express.is, Vue.js, Laravel, Angular, Web2Py, FastAPI, Meteor, Bottle, JQuery, Angular, Symfony, Svelte, Jam.py, ASP.NET, Apache, Sails, spring MVC, Zend, YI, Cake, Moo, Python, Kotlin, R. PHP, Go, Swift, VB, MATLAB, Scheme, Racket, Cloiure, Lisp, COBOL, Alice, AWK, Bash, Clean, Cecil, CoffeeScript, Cybil, Kodu, Ladder, Logtalk, JADE, J, Maude, LINQ, Modula, Octave, Orwell, Nemerie, Zeno, X10, WebASM, Umple, TAL, TCL, Scala, Sed, Strand, SBL, Turing, ROOP, QPL, PROMAL, Orc, Oriel, Nu, NPL, MVstic, Mutan, Mercury, Mesa, MOO, ASM, PostaressOL MySQL, SQLite, InterBase, Advantage, Ingres, Raima, FileMakerPro, Access, H2, Firebird, Windows, Unix, Android, macos, Linux, Centos, Ubuntu, OpenS ProDOS, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid Donner, Blitzen, and Rudolph. COCKSOFT INC. Cyanide and Happiness Explosm.net