Just Say Python

PHP has been declared dead more times than a character in a soap opera, yet it powers about 77% of the web. It's the tech equivalent of that one cockroach that survives nuclear winter. Modern frameworks like Laravel have given it life support, but developers still look at it with the same bewilderment as someone witnessing a zombie doing taxes. "It shouldn't be alive, but here we are."

Content DISPLAY Developer SetupGuide.tt Welcome to the leopals active development team! Setting up should be easy and you'll be able to be productive in just a few minutes, right? WRONG, BITCH! WELCOME TO HELL What, did you seriously think this 10 million year old website was going to have a clean, maintainable codebase? Welcome to the obfuscated-single-PHP-file-200-page-website pain zone friend! that you cop lookinfint jou concentrated as fastrof, Impost beret, un-testable as they can. What's that, you want some actual advice on the codebase? Yeah, open that shit right up and go ahead, I'll wait. Or, not, because by the time you're done understanding it I'll be fucking dead. What's that sound? You're regretting not joining the art team instead? Understandable - sometimes I also want to leave this place to lovingly create innocent character designs and watch people make terrabytes of low quality porn of it the next day. 1010. Here's your setup guide: Step 1: Find a loaded revolver Step 2: Track down everyone responsible for this mess Step 3: ??? Step 4: IT'S STILL BROKEN AS FUCK. One time I changed the login button color and it broke the battle system. What the fuck. Anyway, that should get you going! If you have any questions, I suggest you pray for the sweet release of death. -Thomas (-

Turning down a high-paying job with great benefits because it involves PHP? That's what I call principled poverty . The real moral dilemma isn't the adult content site—it's having to tell people at parties that you're a PHP developer. Some developers would rather live in a cardboard box than add that language to their LinkedIn profile. Standards before salary, folks!

Content ava 1-1-1-1 Love you java- chan! php

JavaScript gets all the love while C, Java, Rust, and others gang up on poor PHP. Then in the shadows, we find the true outcasts: another PHP developer and the mythical Monkey C programmer, sweating nervously because nobody even remembers they exist. The programming language hierarchy in one comic! JavaScript strutting around like it owns the web (it kinda does), while PHP gets bullied despite powering like 80% of the internet. And Monkey C? That's the language you put on your resume when you're hoping the interviewer is too embarrassed to admit they've never heard of it.

SWEET MOTHER OF DEPENDENCY INJECTION! 💀 The absolute TRAGEDY of finding another PHP developer at your 20th reunion only to discover they're a total FRAUD! The poor soul is desperately nodding along to terms like "Eloquent guy" and "Doctrine dude" while their brain is SCREAMING in confusion! And the final nail in the coffin? They're building *gasp* WORDPRESS WEBSITES while pretending it's "worldwide SaaS"! The betrayal! The deception! The sheer AUDACITY of claiming PHP knowledge when you can't tell Symfony Messenger from a text message! This is why we have trust issues in the developer community!