Packet Loss Has Different Consequences

That one developer who insists on hosting their own Git server instead of using established platforms... and suddenly you're exchanging keys, joining their Wireguard VPN, and probably signing blood oaths just to contribute to a project that could've lived happily on GitHub. The suspicious monkey face perfectly captures that moment when you're wondering if this is worth the effort or if your colleague is secretly building a bunker for the inevitable tech apocalypse.

That moment when the fresh CS grad in a Hawaiian shirt meets the grizzled security expert who's been breaking systems since before the internet had a name. "Red team" isn't about communism, kid—it's about showing companies how spectacularly their security fails by actively hacking them. The beard alone has seen more zero-days than your entire GitHub history. Hope you brought caffeine for the all-nighter ahead—those corporate firewalls won't pentest themselves!

Ah yes, the classic "workplace safety sign" energy. You know that feeling when your entire infrastructure has been humming along smoothly for over two weeks? That's when you start getting nervous. Because Cloudflare going down isn't just an outage—it's a global event that takes half the internet with it. The counter resetting to zero is the chef's kiss here. It's like those factory signs that say "X days without an accident" except this one never gets past three weeks. And the best part? There's absolutely nothing you can do about it. Your monitoring alerts are screaming, your boss is asking questions, and you're just sitting there like "yeah, it's Cloudflare, not us." Then you watch the status page refresh every 30 seconds like it's going to magically fix itself. Pro tip: When Cloudflare goes down, just tweet "it's not DNS" and wait. That's literally all you can do.

When your colleague quits without leaving any docs and you're stuck maintaining their cursed codebase, you find yourself staring at blank pages with notes like "This page was left blank because the previous engineer quit before writing documentation." But then you flip to the next page and discover they somehow had time to write a full academic paper on "Image Transfer Protocol Delivery Methods for Sending Pocket Rocket Pictures to Tinder Matches." Complete with an abstract, keywords, and what appears to be legitimate protocol analysis (UDP, TCP, HTTP, SSL) for... optimizing dick pic delivery. The priorities here are chef's kiss . Can't document the actual production system that generates revenue, but can absolutely produce a peer-reviewed paper for EdgartsPocketRocket.com. The dedication to the wrong things is honestly impressive. Pro tip: If you're gonna rage quit, at least leave a README. Your replacement doesn't deserve this chaos.

So you left Cloudflare, probably for that "amazing opportunity" at a startup that promised equity and ping pong tables, only to realize the grass isn't always greener. Now you're back at the same company, but this time as an intern. The demotion is real, and that fancy reception desk is giving off some serious "we both know what happened here" vibes. The boomerang employee phenomenon hits different when you come back at a lower level. At least the office still looks nice, and hey, Cloudflare's CDN is pretty solid, so there's that. Maybe this time you'll appreciate the free coffee and stable infrastructure before chasing the next shiny thing.

The networking equivalent of watching someone park in a reserved spot. That brave soul is fighting the good fight against the network admins who've spent hours debugging why devices keep dropping off the network, only to discover some rogue developer assigned themselves 192.168.1.100 because "it's easier to remember." Nothing like the sweet chaos of two devices fighting over the same IP while DHCP watches helplessly from the sidelines. The real network troubleshooting drinking game: take a shot every time someone says "but it was working yesterday!"