Worst She Can Say Is No: Browser Edition

Content IWON'T USE C MICROSOFT IS EVIL TYPESCRIPT USCODE COPILOT LINKEDIN GITHUB inglip.com

Content how to fake being a programmer 'haha windows is bad' 'php more like phpepsi' 'when you were 12 i was coding in basic' 'im not like other programmers' 'stack overflow comes to me for help' 'i dont use an ide because word 2007 has all the functionality i need'

Content TOP DEFINITION C y f 3 A programming language for Real Men. Most languages try to provide a simplified way to solve specific problems well. C makes no such concession and tries to be mediocre at everything. It lets you program at a very high level, and a very low level in the same program. It lets you write procedural code, object oriented code, generic code and mix them all up. It makes you decide everything and provides no help if you get it wrong. It is by far the biggest, most complicated, ugly, down-right dangerous language you can use. But it does run fast. It takes at least twice as long to program in C as any other major language (except C). The men who program in C are Real Men. The women who program in C are Real Men too. You can spot a C programmer from their testosterone fueled swagger, and the unbelievable amount of contempt they inject into the phrase Java "programmer". They'll probably do the air quotes and all. Dev: 'Hey, Reg, you know C right? What does: "Isrc Cont.spp(52) : error C2679: binary '': no operator found which takes a right- hand operand of type 'int' (or there is no acceptable conversion) C: Program Files Microsoft Visual Studio 8VC include vector (392): could be 'std: VectoriteratorTy, Alloc std:VectoriteratorTy, Alloc:operator (const std:VectoriteratorTy, Alloc' with TyMain::Cont, Allocstd allocatorMain::Cont while trying to match the argument list '(std::VectoriteratorTy, Alloc, int)' with TyMain::Cont, Allocstd :allocatorMain::Cont " mean?' Reg: 'You missed a semicolon at the end of the line'

The joke here is multi-layered, like an onion made of pure irony. Internet Explorer, famously the slowest browser known to mankind, has a Twitter handle "@TheFastest" while reporting on an AWS outage. But the real punchline? The tweet is dated April 1st, 2019, has supposedly 94.8M retweets (more than any tweet in history), and Internet Explorer wouldn't even know about an outage until three years after it was fixed. It's like watching a tortoise report breaking news.

The rarest creature in the digital universe: someone who actually wants to pay for WinRAR. The robot, personified as WinRAR, is so shocked it's practically having an existential crisis. For those uninitiated, WinRAR is that compression software that's been asking for payment after its 40-day trial since the dawn of computing, yet somehow continues to function perfectly when you click "remind me later" for the 500th time. It's basically the software equivalent of that friend who keeps saying "you'll pay me back next time" knowing full well it's never happening.

The duality of Windows 11 resistance! On the left, we have the principled gamer with their Intel i7-4790K processor, smugly refusing to upgrade because "the UI is garbage and AI is spyware." Meanwhile on the right, the exact same gamer is secretly thinking, "My 10-year-old CPU doesn't meet the TPM requirements, and I'm too broke to upgrade my entire rig." It's the classic tech enthusiast dilemma - publicly criticizing design choices while privately dealing with the harsh reality of obsolescence. Nothing says "I'm making a principled stand" quite like having absolutely no other choice.