Dell Makes 100% Sure You Know What It Means To Remove Their Software

Ah, the eternal struggle of PC gamers waiting for the perfect discount. If it's not at least 90% off, might as well be full price. We'll just stay in bed, refreshing Steam every 8 minutes, waiting for that sweet indie game to hit rock-bottom pricing. Because paying $3.50 instead of $0.50 for a game we'll play for 200 hours is clearly financial irresponsibility.

Oh, the face of pure existential pain when someone casually mentions Windows in a room with a Linux user! That neck vein about to pop as they physically restrain themselves from launching into their rehearsed 47-minute TED talk about how they compiled their own kernel just to browse Reddit. Meanwhile, everyone else is just trying to talk about normal human things like weather and sports, but our Linux friend is sitting there, twitching, desperately waiting for someone to ask "so what OS do you use?" Nobody will ask. Nobody ever asks. But they're ready. They're always ready.

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Ah, the golden age of dial-up internet, when downloading a single executable meant you could start it before dinner and hope it finished before retirement. 4.61 KB/sec transfer rate and 39 years remaining? That's not a download, that's a digital inheritance plan for your grandchildren. The best part was the download would inevitably fail at 98% because someone picked up the phone.

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Congratulations on your accidental journey to the dark side of Microsoft development! Clicking Visual Studio instead of VS Code is like ordering a tank when you just needed a bicycle. One's a lightweight code editor that opens in seconds, the other is a 10GB industrial-strength IDE that takes so long to load you could literally grow a beard while waiting. The astronaut's grim realization that his "little maneuver" will cost "51 years" perfectly captures that moment of dread when you see that loading bar crawl across your screen at glacial speed. Your quick edit just turned into a commitment longer than most marriages.