Peak Programmer Career Trajectory

After grinding for 22+ years at Microsoft, climbing from Software Engineer to Principal Performance Architect, this absolute legend said "enough" and embraced their true calling: goose farming. That resume reads like the most epic rage-quit in tech history. Spent two decades optimizing code only to optimize their happiness instead. The career progression we secretly all aspire to—escape the sprint planning meetings to sprint after geese. Bet those 2AM production outages don't seem so bad when your biggest emergency is a honking rebellion.