Microsoft's Heavy Metal Phase

Samsung Smart Hub commercial: "Connect your whole life!" IT Guy: laughs in mechanical locks Samsung: "But your home could be smarter!" IT Guy: "My printer from 2004 is smart enough to fear me, and that's all the intelligence my appliances need."

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The ultimate programmer's dream achieved! Spent one weekend crafting Excel VBA macros to automate mundane tasks, then proceeded to binge-watch movies for nine entire months while the scripts did all the work. The perfect embodiment of the programmer's mantra: "I will spend 10 hours automating a 10-minute task I do once a day, so I can save 5 minutes... eventually." Except in this case, the ROI was astronomical. The beautiful part? Nobody noticed! Peak work-life optimization that would make any efficiency-obsessed developer shed a tear of joy.

The grim reaper of tech has arrived! Microsoft proudly announces 30% of their code is now AI-generated while simultaneously showing off their crown jewels: Azure, Microsoft 365, and... Minecraft? Nothing says "we're revolutionizing the future" quite like having AI write your code while you're busy acquiring every gaming studio on the planet. Next update: "Microsoft is a corporation that turns developers into LinkedIn profile updaters." The skeleton isn't just decoration—it's a visual representation of your career after the AI finishes "optimizing" your job description.

Nothing says "I've reached a new level of despair" quite like discovering something worse than your own code. That moment when Microsoft Teams enters the chat and suddenly your self-loathing gets an upgrade. It's the corporate equivalent of thinking you've hit rock bottom, then someone hands you a shovel. The best part? You're still typing away, just with more existential dread per keystroke.

Content Janis Kluge jakluge 17h Due to sanctions, Russia is switching from Windows to Linux. The government wants to force domestic programmers to convert their software. But there are doubts: Many systems will have to be rebuilt from scratch, and there are few Linux experts around. kommersant.rudoc5570730 48 17 237 740 8 Kait i airenni Replying to jakluge You can't throw a political enemy out a fourth-floor Linux, though. 11:09 AM 20 Sep 22 Twitter for Android ProdrammerHumor.io