Debugging

HONEY, GRAB THE CHECKBOOK! This absolute MONSTER of a legacy code generator is being sold to us by a man in a suit! *dramatically faints* The car salesman is literally SLAPPING THE ROOF and promising us 50+ lines of legacy code PER SECOND! Do you know what that means?! That's approximately 4.3 MILLION lines of technical debt PER DAY! The maintenance nightmare of my DREAMS! 💸💸💸 And look at those logos - it's a blockchain-ethereum-something developer tool that will absolutely ruin our codebase faster than you can say "we should refactor this someday." SOLD!

Content Trying Stuff Until it Works Turning Coffee Into Code It Depends The Definitive Guide ORLY? Getting it to Work Blaming the Architecture Copying and Pasting from Stack Overflow Quality Assurance Good Enough to Ship O riY? Arbitrary Forecasts Rationalizing Awful Hackjob Hype Driven Development Life on the Bandwagon Getting an Arduino LED to Blink ORLY? Excuses for Not Writing Documentation ); DROP TABLE animals;-- ExDert Hoping Nobody Hacks You Trivial Details Buzzword-first Design Exiting Vim wring code that Nobody Else Can Reac O RLY Expert Pretending to Know About Stuff Adulting Deleting Code Keeping the Whole App in Your Head Nodding Along Coding on the Weekend Not Writing Unit Tests ORIY' Googling the Error Message "Temporary Workarounds

The classic "things are easy when you've mastered them" pattern. Experienced C++ devs saying pointers aren't hard is like billionaires claiming money doesn't matter or supermodels saying looks are irrelevant. Meanwhile, the rest of us are still trying to figure out why our program just segfaulted because we dereferenced a null pointer for the 17th time today. Sure, pointers are "easy" after you've spent 5 years debugging memory leaks and dangling references.

Content Coding What people think A programmer does Documehting Debugging Meetings Testing Googling Copy--Paste Chat-GPT-ing What a programmer does most of the time and the latest one relye 20230929 Became Documehting TechLead Debugging al Meetings st of the time Testing Googling 90 of time Copy--Paste Chat-GPT-ing

Forget "have you tried turning it off and on again" - tech support is just dating with more troubleshooting and less romance. Both involve hours of frustration, miscommunication, and ultimately walking away wondering why you bothered. At least with tech support, you can hang up without getting ghosted first.

Content Is it common for software engineers to take out their laptops on the train only to stare at it without doing anything? Well, yes... Legally, you have to or you'll lose your license as a software engineer. LOL. But seriously, he just shut his laptop, opened it back up, pressed a button and resumed staring at it... Oh yeah! Now he's browsing his phone while staring... It's called debugging. You stare at the code until it works again! . Why do you guys get paid so much?