Microsoft Development Strategy

Content Windows user Apple is shit Linux user Windows is shit Mac user n0000000000 Windows user We know

The PC gamer staring longingly through the blinds at console players getting GTA 6 first is just *chef's kiss* painful accuracy. That May 26, 2026 date might as well be etched on our tombstones. Nothing quite captures the essence of PC gaming like watching console peasants get early access while we sit in our expensive gaming chairs surrounded by RGB lighting that cost more than a PS5. But hey, at least we'll get the game when it's properly debugged... in 2027... maybe.

Content How to fix any computer The Oatmeal http:theoatmeal.com Windows Step I. Reboot Did that fix it? No? Proceed to step 2 Step a. Format hard drive. Reinstall Windows. Lose all your files. Quietly weep. Apple Step I. Take it to an Apple store. Did that fix it? No? Proceed to step a Step 2. Buy a new Mac. Overdraw your account. Quietly weep. Linux Step 1. Learn to code in Ct. Recompile the kernel. Build your own microprocessor out of spare silicon you had lying around. Recompile the kernel again. Switch distros. Recompile the kernel again but this time using a CPU powered by refracted light from Saturn. Grow a gant beard. Blame Sun Microsystems. Turn your bedroom into a server closet and spend ten years falling asleep to the sound of whirring fans. Switch distros again. Abandon all hygiene. Write a regular expression that would make other programmers cry blood. Learn to code in Java Recompile the kernel again (but this time while wearing your lucky socks) Did that fix it? No? Proceed to step a n Step a. Revert back to using Windows or a Mac Quietly weep.

Microsoft's "Stay signed in?" dialog is the tech equivalent of a lying ex. You click "Yes" and check "Don't show this again" hoping for a better tomorrow, but like clockwork, you're greeted with the same damn prompt next session. The checkbox might as well be a placebo button at this point. It's like Microsoft is gaslighting us into thinking we have control over our authentication experience. Spoiler alert: we don't. Your browser cookies? Cleared. Your session? Expired. Your patience? Gone. But hey, at least they asked nicely before wasting your time again tomorrow.

Content I'm not a robot reCAPTCHA Select all images that match the following regex: (a-zA-Z0-9(-1.)(N0-91,3.0-91,3.0-91,31.)(la-z A-Z0-91-.))(a-zA-Z2,40-91,3)(?) billmicrosoft.com (a-zA-Zo-91-1.) (MI0-911,3.0-9 The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog ProarammerHumor.io Elon Musk

Three-headed dragon meme where two heads are fierce, menacing beasts labeled "dark mode in every single fucking IDE on the planet," while the third head is a derpy, goofy dragon labeled "SQL Management Studio." Because nothing says "professional database tool" like searing your retinas at 2 AM with a UI that's brighter than your career prospects.