Despise One Drive

Content by Task Manager File Options View Processes Performance App history Startup Users Details Services V Name Publisher Status 9 Program Enabled O iCUE Corsair Memory, Inc. Enabled LMMStartUpApp m BakkesMod TODO: Company name Enabled Microsoft OneDrive Microsoft Corporation L Realtek HD Audio Universal ... Realtek Semiconductor I Logitech Download Assistant Logitech, Inc. Windows Security notificatio.. Microsoft Corporation Spotify Spotify AB g Microsoft Teams Microsoft Corporation LIE EpicGamesLauncher Epic Games, Inc. Discord Discord Inc. Steam Client Bootstrapper Valve Corporation Enabled Enabled Enabled Enabled Enabled Disabled Disabled Disabled Disabled Disabled Fewer details Last BIOS time: 6.2 seconds Startup impact Not measured High Medium Medium High Low High Medium None None None None None Disable

Loading a plane into a cargo jet is about as efficient as storing JSON in SQL. Sure, it technically works, but it's like wearing formal shoes to the beach—you've completely missed the point. And your company does this with XML as nvarchar strings? That's taking inefficiency to an art form. It's like photocopying a painting, faxing the copy, then taking a picture of the fax with a flip phone. Seven years of database optimization techniques thrown out the window because someone in 2005 said "just make it work for the demo."

The rarest cryptid in tech: a functional Windows troubleshooter. After 15 years in the industry, I've seen unicorns, competent project managers, and code that works on the first try—but a Windows troubleshooter that actually fixes something? That's the stuff of legend. The comment is pure gold though. Using your one Christmas miracle on Windows fixing itself is like using a genie's wish to get an extra napkin. Next they'll tell us printers connected on the first try.

Congratulations, you've just witnessed peak tech executive cost-cutting logic! Delete the entire operating system to save a few megabytes—because who needs a functioning computer when you can brag about storage optimization? For the uninitiated, System32 is basically Windows' vital organs. Deleting it is like removing your brain to lose weight. Sure, you'll be lighter, but also... dead. The real punchline? 10MB is practically nothing in today's computing world—it's like demolishing your house to save on a light bulb. But hey, "efficiency" at its finest!

Content Microsoft software engineer when Teams takes 5 minutes to start and freezes mid-call Microsoft software engineer when SSH login starts taking 0.5 seconds 0 D

Content How to fix any computer Windows Step 1. Reboot Did that fix it? Nor Proceed to step a Step a Format hard drive. Reinstall Windows Lose all your files Quietly weep Apple Step 1. Take it to an Apple store Did that fix it? No? Proceed to step a Step a Buy a new Mac Overdraw your account Quietly weep Linux Step 1. Learn to code in C. Recompile the kernel. Build your own microprocessor out of spare silicon you had lying around Recompile the kernel again. Switch distros. Recompile the kernel again but this time using a CPU powered by refracted light from Saturn. Grow a giant beard. Blame Sun Microsystems. Turn your bedroom into a server closet and spend ten years falling asleep to the sound of whirring fans. Switch distros again. Abandon all hygiene. Write a regular expression that would make other programmers cry blood. Learn to code in Java. Recompile the kernel again (but this time while wearing your lucky socks). Did that fix it? No? Proceed to step a Step a. Revert back to Using Windows or a Mac Quietly weep