I'll Be Backend

The ultimate hipster programmer manifesto has arrived! At the top, we have the "Reject modernity" squad featuring React, Tailwind, Vue, some hipster hamster, and TypeScript—basically everything recruiters won't stop messaging you about on LinkedIn. Meanwhile, the "Embrace tradition" crew is just chilling below with HTML, CSS, JavaScript, PHP, and Python—you know, the technologies that actually keep the internet from imploding. It's like choosing between a complicated pour-over coffee ritual versus just drinking the office coffee that somehow still works. Sure, the modern frameworks look impressive on your resume, but when the apocalypse comes, who do you think will still be able to make a website work? The person who can write vanilla JS or the one who needs 37 dependencies just to center a div?

The classic variable swap without a third variable—the coding equivalent of showing off a party trick that makes actual engineers cringe. Sure, it looks clever until some compiler expert (embodied by angry Walter White) shows up to explain how your "optimization" is actually destroying CPU pipelining, creating memory dependencies, and making Dennis Ritchie roll in his grave. Meanwhile, modern compilers have spent decades optimizing temporary variable allocation that your one-liner just obliterated. It's like bringing a butter knife to a gunfight and calling yourself a ninja. The branch predictor is weeping, the cache is thrashing, and your register allocator just filed for emotional distress.

Someone asked what programming languages polyglots dream in, and the answer "JavaScript" got absolutely demolished with the most savage correction of all time. Because let's be real, nobody is out here having sweet dreams about type coercion, undefined is not a function, and the fact that [] + {} somehow equals "[object Object]" while {} + [] equals 0. JavaScript doesn't visit your dreams—it breaks into your subconscious at ungodly hours, whispers "NaN === NaN is false" in your ear, and leaves you questioning your entire existence. The language where adding an array to an object makes perfect sense to absolutely nobody, but here we are, building the entire internet with it anyway. Sweet dreams are made of these? More like cold sweats and existential dread.

The IQ bell curve showing people on both extremes making the same syntax error is peak programming culture. The average coders (IQ 100) are sweating bullets over missing semicolons, while both the "barely functioning" and "genius" programmers are casually making the same mistake. Meanwhile, the employed dev at the bottom is completely lost—like when a senior dev walks into a room of junior devs arguing about whether tabs or spaces are superior. That magical moment when you realize some people are overthinking simple syntax while others have transcended to worrying about actual problems.

Content Boss says to build a web app in IS and React Boss: "Why isn't this in Nextis? This should use Nextis.' I spend 10 hours refactoring rewriting Boss: "Why isn't this in TypeScript? This should use TS." ProarammerHumor.io spend 20 hours on the first set of reas Boss: "Why isn't this in Nextis? This should use Nextis." I spend 40 hours on the next set of reas Boss: "Why isn't this in TypeScript? This should use TS."

Content Shreya Trivedi Shreya Trivedi 17h Which according to you is the most difficult topic in JavaScript? 9150 1724 180 til 31.6K Jaroshevskii jaroshevskii Replying to ShreyaTrivedi 8 0 true ProdrammerHumor.io