I'll Be Backend

The ULTIMATE programmer flex isn't your GitHub stars or Stack Overflow rep—it's hitting F12 and editing HTML to make yourself look like a millionaire! 💸 HONEY, I'm not broke, I'm just one browser developer tool away from being FILTHY RICH! The look of sudden interest when your "bank balance" has more zeros than your production code has bugs is just... *chef's kiss* PRICELESS. Who needs actual money when you can just DOM-manipulate your way into looking like the next tech billionaire? It's basically the same thing! (Except when you try to pay for literally anything.)

Content Tweet Web development bletchley punk alicegoldfuss the frontend engineers at crunchyroll are wee developers good night 1:44 AM Sep 4, 2021 Twitter Web App 55 Retweets 2 Quote Tweets 527 Likes 17 1

Behold, the cursed art of using eval() to concatenate strings as variable names, creating what is essentially the world's most horrifying key-value store. Instead of using blocks[blockId].x like a normal human being, this 11-year-old genius decided to dynamically construct variable names like "lev" + level + "block" + blockId + "x" and eval them into existence. It's like watching someone reinvent the wheel, except the wheel is square, on fire, and somehow still rolling. The sheer determination to check collision boundaries and directions by string-concatenating variable names together is both terrifying and oddly impressive. Every senior dev who sees this code feels a strange mix of horror and nostalgia, because let's be real—we've all written something equally cursed when we were young and didn't know better. The difference is most of us burned the evidence.

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Content 11:56 "Frontend is useless Backend is more important" The product we made: 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 "date": "sun. 14th jan time: 08326 "stats:( "r 1069 Steps: 2845. distance: 179 theories 7 422 "calories battery: 79

The secret sauce to startup valuation in 2024: change your loading spinners to "thinking..." and boom — you're an AI company! Venture capitalists are frantically throwing term sheets at anyone who can make their app pretend to contemplate existence. The best part? The code behind it is still the same janky setTimeout() that's been crashing in production since 2018. But hey, fake it till you make it a unicorn, right?