python Memes

Max Autotune Prune Choices Based On Shared Mem Flag Wasn't As Groundbreaking As It Was Promised To Be

Max Autotune Prune Choices Based On Shared Mem Flag Wasn't As Groundbreaking As It Was Promised To Be
You've enabled every optimization flag known to humanity. CUDA kernels? Optimized. Batch sizes? Tuned. Mixed precision? Obviously. You've read the entire PyTorch performance guide twice, set torch.backends.cudnn.benchmark=True , and even sacrificed a USB drive to the machine learning gods. Your training loop still moves like it's running on a Pentium II from 1997. Turns out all those fancy optimization techniques that promised "up to 10x speedup" in the blog posts were tested on datasets that fit in a teacup and hardware that costs more than a small car. The real bottleneck? Your data loader was single-threaded the whole time. Classic.

One More Time And I'm Pulling The Trigger

One More Time And I'm Pulling The Trigger
Project says it needs Python 3.13+. You dutifully upgrade from your perfectly stable 3.12 setup. Install the dependencies. Run the code. "Doesn't work." Of course it doesn't. Because apparently version requirements are more like gentle suggestions written by someone who hasn't actually tested their own project. Now you're stuck in dependency hell, your virtual environment is screaming, and you're seriously considering a career change to goat farming. The best part? Rolling back to 3.12 probably would've worked fine with a single line change in requirements.txt.

Only On Linkedin

Only On Linkedin
LinkedIn influencers really woke up and chose violence by placing Python in the "high performance" category. That's like calling a minivan a sports car because it has wheels. JavaScript sitting comfortably in low performance is the only honest thing about this chart. The real comedy gold here is that this person is a "Compiler & Toolchain Engineer" who apparently doesn't understand that popularity and performance have zero correlation. It's giving "I made a chart in 5 minutes to farm engagement" energy. And judging by those 32 comments, the strategy worked—probably filled with C++ devs having aneurysms and Python devs writing essays about how "performance doesn't matter for most use cases." LinkedIn: where technical accuracy goes to die, but engagement metrics thrive.

He Skill Issue

He Skill Issue
The guards standing over a field of fallen programmers trying to identify the C developers is sending me. Their solution? Just check if anyone thinks GOTO is harmless! Because apparently C programmers are the only ones brave (or reckless) enough to defend the most controversial control flow statement since the invention of spaghetti code itself. The fallen warriors are split between those crying "skill issue!" (classic C elitist behavior), defenders claiming it's "useful" and "clean" (copium levels off the charts), and my personal favorite: the guy getting absolutely OBLITERATED for suggesting "Stop crying, use Python instead." The violence was swift and merciless. Nothing triggers C programmers faster than suggesting they switch to a language with automatic memory management and readable syntax!

Lock This Damnidiot Up

Lock This Damnidiot Up
Someone's having a full existential crisis on LinkedIn about how Python is going to replace assembly language. The hot take here is that AI-generated code is just like compiler output—we blindly trust it without understanding what's underneath. The comparison is actually kind of brilliant in a terrifying way. Just like we stopped worrying about register allocation when compilers got good, this person thinks we'll stop understanding our own code when AI gets good enough. The "10x developer" becomes a "10x prompter" who can't debug their copilot's output. Yikes. But here's the kicker: they're calling it a "transition, not a bug." The whole "software engineering is being rewritten" spiel sounds like someone trying to justify why they don't need to learn data structures anymore because ChatGPT can write their algorithms. The craft isn't dying, it's just "moving up the stack"—which is corporate speak for "I don't want to learn how hash tables work." The irony? This philosophical manifesto was probably written by someone who's never touched assembly or C, yet they're confidently declaring Python will become the new assembly. Sure, and JavaScript will become the new machine code. 🙄

Innit Mate

Innit Mate
British programmers really said "we're not using American spelling in our code" and created elsif just to be different. Meanwhile the rest of the world is stuck choosing between elif (Python, Bash) and else if (JavaScript, Java, C++), but Ruby decided to go full British with elsif . The "otherwise" at the end is just *chef's kiss* because it's so unnecessarily formal and British, like your code is having tea with the Queen. It's the programming equivalent of saying "whilst" instead of "while" – technically correct but makes everyone roll their eyes.

Need More Work Experience

Need More Work Experience
The beautiful irony of tech recruiting: they want 4+ years of experience in a framework that's only existed for 1.5 years. FastAPI dropped in 2018, so unless you're Sebastián himself (the creator), you literally can't meet their requirements. It's like asking for 10 years of experience in a technology that was released yesterday. Recruiters out here writing job descriptions like they're ordering a custom-built senior developer from Amazon Prime. "Must have 5 years experience in this thing that came out 2 years ago, also must be willing to work for junior dev salary." The recycling emoji at the end is *chef's kiss* - maybe it's time to recycle those ridiculous job requirements into something that actually makes sense. But let's be real, HR departments will still be asking for 15 years of Rust experience in 2025.

Didn't Write Much Code

Didn't Write Much Code
When someone asks "Is it JavaScript or Python?" and the dev responds "I actually didn't write much code - just prompting" you know we've officially entered the AI era of programming. The follow-up comment "So is it javascript or python? Jesus fucking christ" is the collective frustration of every traditional developer watching their craft get reduced to chatting with an LLM. This is the new reality: devs are now prompt engineers who vibe-coded a rage/timing game by basically having a conversation with AI. The confusion about which language was even used is *chef's kiss* because it doesn't matter anymore - the AI wrote it all. Meanwhile, seasoned developers are having an existential crisis trying to figure out what stack was used while the prompt jockey is already shipping features. Welcome to 2024, where "I can code" means "I can write a really good sentence."

Because Agent Don't Want To PM

Because Agent Don't Want To PM
The tech industry's slow-motion apocalypse timeline, where roles disappear faster than your motivation on a Monday morning. In 2026, we've got the holy trinity: Project Managers looking smug with their Jira boards, Site Reliability Engineers keeping the servers from catching fire (literally shown with Java's flaming coffee cup), and Software Engineers grinding away with Python. Fast forward to 2028, and plot twist—the SE with the Python logo vanishes into an asterisk of doom. By 2030, even the SSE joins the void, leaving only the PM standing. The asterisk? That's probably an AI agent doing all the coding while management stays eternal. The title drops the real truth bomb: AI agents are happy to write code, debug at 2 AM, and refactor legacy spaghetti, but they draw the line at attending standup meetings and updating sprint boards. Can't blame them—if I could opt out of being a PM by simply not existing, I'd consider it too.

I'm Afraid To Talk To People Using Programming Languages Like Javascript Or Python

I'm Afraid To Talk To People Using Programming Languages Like Javascript Or Python
So you've mastered pointers, memory management, and segmentation faults, but the moment someone mentions they code in JavaScript or Python, you suddenly need a manual on basic human interaction? Classic programmer move—spending years debugging C++ templates but completely freezing when faced with actual social protocols. The irony here is delicious: you can architect complex systems and handle the most arcane programming concepts, yet starting a conversation with fellow devs feels like trying to compile code without a compiler. Bonus points if you're that person who codes in Assembly or Rust and secretly judges everyone else's "easy mode" language choices while simultaneously having zero idea how to say "hello" without making it awkward. Pro tip: They're just people who chose garbage collection over manual memory management. They won't bite. Probably.

Compile Time Over 9000 Min

Compile Time Over 9000 Min
First-year CS student discovers that C++ is faster than Python and suddenly thinks they're Linus Torvalds. Meanwhile, the rest of us are out here writing buffer overflows and memory leaks in both languages like true professionals. Sure, your C++ might be faster, but at what cost? Your sanity? Your weekends? The ability to remember where you allocated that pointer? Python devs know the truth: we trade a few milliseconds for not having to debug segfaults at 3 AM. But go ahead, young padawan, write your unsafe code. We'll be here when you realize that premature optimization is the root of all evil, and that "fast" doesn't mean much when your program crashes before it finishes.

Epstein Index

Epstein Index
Java sitting at 174 points like it's collecting war crimes. SQL and PHP are basically tied for "I'm not proud of what I've done" at 58 and 52 respectively. Python's surprisingly low at 12—guess people are too busy writing one-liners to feel ashamed. But the real plot twist? JavaScript only has 6 shame points. Either JS developers have achieved enlightenment and transcended shame, or they've been doing it wrong for so long that they've simply forgotten what good code looks like. My money's on the latter. Fortran and COBOL making the list is chef's kiss—respect to the ancient ones still maintaining that legacy banking system from 1972. MATLAB bringing up the rear with 2 points because the three people still using it are too busy with matrix multiplication to care about shame.