He Preferred Death To Explaining 'Promises'

Oh, the ABSOLUTE BETRAYAL when you realize you've been having completely different conversations! One person is out here talking about their PlayStation 5 and Xbox Series X collection, ready to discuss frame rates and exclusive titles, while the other is living that terminal life with console.log() and bash terminals. It's like showing up to a party thinking it's a costume party when it's actually a funeral – equally devastating, equally awkward. The developer's version of "consoles" involves staring at black screens with green text, debugging at unholy hours, and watching logs scroll by like the Matrix. Meanwhile, gaming consoles involve... actually having fun? What a concept! Two completely different universes colliding in the most spectacular miscommunication since someone thought Java and JavaScript were related.

Content Based on a true story: xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy" xxx: You're gonna love this xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login. xxx: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help" "trouble" "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time". xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling wellgonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am. xxx: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like sys brew . Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half- caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. xxx: holy sht l'm keeping those

Ah, the classic developer paradox. "I prefer VS Code because it's lightweight and simple!" *proceeds to transform it into a computational black hole with 47 extensions that colorize brackets, play lo-fi beats when you commit, and predict your next line of code based on your zodiac sign* The irony of turning your "lightweight" editor into something that requires 16GB of RAM just to open a text file is the purest form of developer self-deception. We're all just one extension away from needing a cooling system for our laptops.

Content I heard of a guy who put a js function in every piece of spec workcompetition work he did. For every day after full payment was due, the function would lower the opacity of body by 1. As soon as full payment was given, he'd remove the function. If the client paid in full and on time, everything was fine, if they did not, their site would slowly fade away over the course of a few months. edit: Here's the code: var due new Date('2020-01-01'): var today new Date(); var daydiff Math.ceil((due.getTime() - today. getTime()) 86400000); var opacity daydiff 0 ? (100 daydiff) 100 : 1; document.querySelector ("body").style.opacity opacity; Give Award Share Report Save

Content Lazy dev: I'll just use S on the backend, what's the worst that could happen The worst that happened: https:ww.disneyplus.com series percy-jackson-an... Watch series name Full episodes Disney Privacy Policy Cookies Policy UK EU Privacy Rights Subscriber Agreement Help Supported Devices About Us Interest-based Ads. Disney. All rights reserved. 13 https:disneyplusoriginals.disnev.com show percy-i. Percy Jackson and The Olympians Disney Originals Demigod Percy Jackson leads a quest across America to prevent a war among the Olympian gods. Rated: TV-PG. Rated TV PG... Trailers clips Teaser Percy Jackson and the Olympians Disney

Found the perfect cleaner for my JavaScript codebase! That "00 null null" label is basically what my console looks like after a late-night coding session. This German toilet cleaner promises to eliminate 99.9% of bugs—I mean bacteria—which is still better odds than my code reviews. If only debugging was as simple as squirting this into my IDE. The "4 in 1" feature must be for handling undefined, null, NaN, and my will to live after hunting reference errors.