Not That Kind Of Doctor

Content "dad, why did you name my sister Trycha?" "because we planned her with all due precautions like a try-catch" "thanks dad you're the best" "vou're welcome UnhandledException"

Ah, the classic Docker bloat syndrome. Why create a svelte 50MB image with just what you need when you can ship a 2GB monstrosity that includes three Linux distros, a complete JDK, and somehow Visual Studio? The "minimal container" is just a theoretical concept developers tell themselves exists while they casually add another layer with "just one more dependency." By Friday, your microservice needs its own ZIP code.

Content WOW! HOW DID YOU GET LIKE THAT? Developers Every time I Developers comment my code JESUS CHRIST. I DO ONE Developers PUSH-UP. SHEN COMIX

The ultimate dependency injection: a cat strategically positioned between you and your keyboard. Your sprint board says "blocked by furry obstacle" but you don't have the heart to create a ticket for cat removal. The cat has implemented the most effective CI/CD pipeline blocker known to developers - the Cute Interface/Coding Disruption pattern. Management keeps asking for status updates while you're busy calculating how many story points to assign to "petting the stakeholder."

Content I am the Oracle. I can answer any question you ask. WHY ARE YOU DOING A FULL TABLE SCAN ALTHOUGH EVERY COLUMN THAVE IN THE WHERE CLAUSE IS INDEXED Any question but that.

Content Engineers who can't code Designers who can't design Product Management