Not That Kind Of Doctor

Content 1 Am Devloper iamdevloper "Once COVID is over" is starting to sound a lot like "once I've launched this side project" 2:23 PM Jan 24, 2021 Twitter Web App 178 Retweets 9 Quote Tweets 865 Likes

The evolution of README files is getting out of hand! Starting with the basic README.md for normies, then leveling up to README.txt for the slightly cooler devs. But wait—README.pdf?! That's for those documentation wizards who want their formatting PERFECT. And README.mp4? That's galaxy-brain territory for devs who explain their code with ACTUAL VIDEOS! But the final form—Morse code on a telegraph machine—that's for the absolute legends who communicate in ways even Git can't track! Your commit messages may be bad, but at least you're not sending them via telegraph... yet! 😂

Content the ONION LATEST POLITICS SPORTS LOCAL ENTERTAINMENT ONION GAMERS NEWS StackOverflow commenter cannot believe you would bother him with such a pathetic question 20413 3:45pm SEE MORE: NEWS v SAN FRANCISCO, CA- Taking time out of his busy day of browsing Hacker News and closing GitHub issues, senior software developer Jeff Corbett replied to your StackOverflow question this afternoon, to let you know that your question is a waste of his time. "This is answered in the spec, I suggest you read it", he wrote, without explaining to which spec he was referring, or what it said. At press time, Corbett had reportedly closed the issue as a duplicate, without linking to any related posts that might have helped answer the original question.

The nuclear option for any developer with commit access. Nothing says "I choose violence today" quite like force-pushing to master without code review. In most companies, this is the digital equivalent of pulling the fire alarm while simultaneously deleting the production database. Five million dollars? Please. The sheer chaos you'd create would be priceless—and your termination paperwork would probably be processed before the build pipeline even finishes failing. Bonus points if you do it on a Friday at 4:59 PM right before a holiday weekend.

[text] Me and my brother in the backseat while our father is conducting daily standup from car

Content 'You guys always act like you're better than me" STIm mime etching the code onto a stone tablet and sacrificing a goat to compile and run it IJ eclose