I Love [Object Object] DB

The classic developer-meets-parent scenario with a brutal twist. Dad thinks his daughter's boyfriend works on PlayStation or Xbox, but our hero drops the dreaded console.log() bomb—the JavaScript debugging tool that's printed more despair than all error messages combined. Nothing says "I'm actually just a web developer" like explaining you use the browser console instead of building actual console games. Dad's 10-second countdown is the fastest code review rejection in history.

Content SITUATION: THERE ARE 14 CoMPETING STANDARDS, HOW STANDARDS PROLIFERATE: (SEE: AC CHARGERS, CHARACTER ENCODINGS, INSTANT MESSAGING, ETC) 14?! RIDICULOUS! SOON: WE NEED TO DEVELOP ONE UNIVERSAL STANDARD THAT COVERS EVERYONE'S USE CASES. YEAH! SITUATION: THERE ARE 15 COMPETING STANDARDS.

Ah yes, the classic "market correction" we've all been waiting for. Nothing says "your decade of experience and six-figure student loans were worth it" quite like being offered McDonald's wages for senior developer positions. That smug cartoon dog sipping his drink represents every offshore recruiter who thinks your expertise in building scalable distributed systems is worth approximately one Starbucks latte per hour. The best part? It's a promoted post—someone actually paid money to advertise this absurdity. Welcome to 2023, where your GitHub contributions are worth less than the electricity it took to push them.

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Folding phones: "Look at our revolutionary technology!" Web developers: *existential crisis intensifies* Just when we finally convinced clients that websites don't need to look identical on every device, Samsung drops these origami nightmares. Responsive design was hard enough with rectangles. Now we're debugging layouts that fold like a lawn chair. Media queries don't have a "bent in half" setting yet.

Remember when "hacking" meant editing the HTML in your browser and taking a screenshot? Nothing says "elite hacker" like right-clicking, hitting inspect element, and changing NASA's homepage text to "I'm in the mainframe!" The number of relatives who thought I was one keyboard shortcut away from jail time after showing them this trick was truly concerning. Bonus points if you added some green text on black background for maximum "Hollywood hacker" aesthetic.