marketing Memes

Algorithms Are Like Small A Is

Algorithms Are Like Small A Is
Ah, the classic marketing vs. reality divide. Developers know that what they built is just a simple counter algorithm that goes from 1 to 10, but marketing swoops in and suddenly it's "AI POWERED™" with a trademark symbol because god forbid we call things what they actually are. After 20 years in this industry, I've seen "revolutionary AI" that was just a bunch of if-statements wrapped in a fancy UI. The trademark symbol is the chef's kiss of bullshit – nothing says "we're pretending this is special" quite like a completely unnecessary ™.

Name Hijacking

Name Hijacking
Ah, the eternal naming struggle! Developers spend hours crafting beautiful, SEO-friendly project names only to throw it all away for CoffeeTable , Banana , or Mongoose . We'll meticulously plan architecture diagrams but then name our main function doStuff() . The marketing team weeps while we gleefully commit our fifth project named after kitchen appliances. And don't get me started on package names - nothing says "professional software" like depending on left-pad and is-even .

Fake It Till You Fund It

Fake It Till You Fund It
The perfect startup recipe: one person who can't write a for-loop without StackOverflow and another who thinks SEO means "Some Extra Options." Yet somehow, when these two shake hands, venture capitalists throw money at them faster than developers abandon jQuery. After 15 years in tech, I've watched this exact scenario play out dozens of times. The codebase is held together with npm packages and prayers, the marketing strategy is "go viral," and yet they're valued at $50M pre-revenue. Meanwhile, I'm debugging production issues at 10pm for a company that actually makes money.

Programmers who will code themselves out of a job sounds soo juvenile.

Programmers who will code themselves out of a job sounds soo juvenile. | programmer-memes, developer-memes, software-memes, code-memes, engineer-memes, software engineer-memes, marketing-memes, program-memes, idea-memes, ide-memes, manager-memes, product-memes, product manager-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content DeSADESBY Kelly Kochanski, Phillip Remaker and Alec Cawley upvoted 2h Carey Aydelotte Follow humanish Sun Will software engineers ever stop being in demand? There are two schools of thought. Those with a background in business see developers as commodities and fully believe that programmers will program themselves out of a job field. The idea is that in some distant future, jobs like project manager, product manager, and marketing manager will still be critical but programmers themselves will be extinct as a result of the tools they created. X The other school of thought is hard to understand because the programmers are laughing so hard they can't talk. 13.4K views View 964 upvotes View 4 shares EDDEDERSE You, Phillip Remaker, Michael Jergensen and 7 more upvoted this 1 964 7 94 0 34 000

Some probably proposed this and got shut down by the marketing team.

Some probably proposed this and got shut down by the marketing team. | web-memes, website-memes, marketing-memes, loc-memes, version-memes, search-memes, IT-memes, retweet-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content James Mishra rishmishra Follow V Why did they call it "Airbnb" when they could have called it "localhost"? 7:44 PM - 29 Aug 2018 2,784 Retweets 13,300 Likes 175 17 2.8K 13K Tweet your reply Ben Kershner benkershner . 18h Replying to rishmishra Have vou tried Googling "localhost" in your search bar? 9 2 17 3 123 James Mishra rishmishra 14h Yeah it's this awful website that shows leaked versions of the web apps I write. I'm still working on sending them a cease-and-desist. g 17 12 449

You Guys Really Seem To Like These Comics So Heres Another Ishamelessly Stole

youGuysReallySeemToLikeTheseComicsSoHeresAnotherIShamelesslyStole | developer-memes, css-memes, javascript-memes, code-memes, tech-memes, java-memes, marketing-memes, management-memes, bad code-memes, machine-memes, data-memes, ssl-memes, fix-memes, cli-memes, recruiters-memes, recruit-memes, IT-memes, idea-memes, ide-memes, mac-memes, documentation-memes, cs-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content 7 CAROLE Donald in wrath: BY O toggl DEVELOPER LImBo- Goon SqUAD BEING AWAKE OUTDOORS. AT NOON (WITH NO ACCESS TO A PLAYSTATION) PEOPLE AND DOCUMENTATION. DOCUMENTATION MARKETING SALES- REALLY SUCKs. "YOU'vE ALREADY CODED HALF YOUR SITE? LESS WORK FOR US, AMIRITE?" TECHNICAL RECRUITERS "HEY GIRL, DO YOU KNOW JAVASCRIPT? CLIENTS "HANDS -ON " CLIENTS "MINOR CHANGES" FiXER SCOPE CREEP MANAGEMENT DONE TALKING ABOI SUNCHE IT DONESI DORIES USELESS MEETINGS BAD cODE TO LOOK AT YOUR OLD CODE LEGACY CODE TERRIBLE SOLUTION HOLDING EVERYTHING TOGETHER YOUR Res IDE INTERNAL AD- HOT ITERRUPTIONS YESTERDAY MTHICAL PLACE WHERE STUFF HAS TO BE READY, ACCORDING CAN SOME DATA YEAH IN A HURRY TONIGHT TO INFO FRO TOMORROW "ARE YOU DOING ANYTHING?" 7 CIRCLE HOPELESS PLACE A BROKEN COFFEE MACHINE MaRT VirKUS '17 TOGGL.COM

We call them Scrum Masters

We call them Scrum Masters | marketing-memes, email-memes, cs-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content rmeirl uiamcoollife1994 22h i.redd.it Join meirl ghost ghostisposting how do i get one of those jobs that arent real where i send an email and then go to a meeting and then draft an email and then leave work and get paid 98,000 a year and have a badge on a little cord that says senior deputy analytics coordinator supervisor of marketing and sales

You tell me

You tell me | marketing-memes, email-memes, cs-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content rmeirl uJimbo072 11 h i.redd.it Beitreten meirl ghost ghostisposting how do i get one of those jobs that arent real where i send an email and then go to a meeting and then draft an email and then leave work and get paid 98,000 a year and have a badge on a little cord that says senior deputy analytics coordinator supervisor of marketing and sales 4 11,0 Tsd. 477 Teilen

Buried So Deep Cant Even Breath

buriedSoDeepCantEvenBreath | development-memes, marketing-memes, management-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content THE PROBLEM IS THERE'S MARKETING THERE'S MANAGEMENT THERE'S LEADERSHIP THEN THERE'S 50 FEET OF CRAP THEN THERE'S DEVELOPMENT mgrip.com

Cheat Sheet For Managers

cheatSheetForManagers | code-memes, marketing-memes, bugs-memes, test-memes, errors-memes, bug-memes, machine-memes, rest-memes, perl-memes, error-memes, fix-memes, IT-memes, mac-memes, language-memes, cs-memes, comment-memes, feature-memes, manager-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content Programmer - Translation Guide What Progammers Say What Progammers Mean Horrible hack Horrible hack that I didn't write Temporary workaround Horrible hack that I wrote It's broken There are bugs in your code It has a few issues obscure There are bugs in my code Someone else's code doesn't have comments Self-documenting My code doesn't have comments That's why it's an awesome It's my favorite language and it's really easy to language do something in it You're thinking in the It's my favourite language and it's really hard wrong mindset to do something in it I can read this Perl script I wrote this Perl script I can't read this Perl script I didn't write this Perl script Bad structure Complex structure Someone else's code is badly organised My code is badly organised Bug Out of scope The absence of a feature I like The absence of a feature I don't like Clean solution It works and I understand it We need to rewrite it It works but I don't understand it emacs is better than vi vi is better than emacs It's too peaceful here, let's start a flame war It's too peaceful here, let's start a flame war IMHO You are wrong Legacy code It works, but no one knows how X Cquit ESCIESCTC I don't know how to quit vi Suboptimal implementation The worst errors ever inflicted on humankind That can't be done It can be done, but it's boring and I don't want to do it No problem, people do this all the time. It's an easy fix. You might be the most idiotic person I've ever encountered Put that bug in the backlog Let's agree nobody ever mentions it again and with low priority ppl who do, will be shot These test environments are too brittle Proof-of-Concept Works on my machine. Have you tried restarting it? What I wrote Perfect solution How Sales Marketing are promoting it

Free As In Free Marketing

freeAsInFreeMarketing | marketing-memes, ide-memes, product-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content WE ARE AN OPEN SOURCE ADVOCATE COMPANY ALL OF OUR PROJECTS ARE UNDER AGPL ALL OUR PRODUCTS ARE UNUSABLE OUTSIDE OF OUR ECOSYSTEM AND WE ARE USING OSS FOR MARKETING AND FREE LABOURS ProarammerHumor io BEHONEST BE HONEST THANK YOU!

I really hope this feature goes to Production

I really hope this feature goes to Production | marketing-memes, google-memes, production-memes, IT-memes, feature-memes, product-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content gaut Oxgaut Google Calendar, but it shows the cost of the meeting Traducir Tweet Marketing Sync Thursday, February 2 11:00am - 12:00pm Weekly on Tuesday, Thursday Join Google Meet meet.google.comkqv-cvap-hdu Join by phone (US) 1 617-675-4444 PIN: 359 209 497 0102 603.25 cost of meeting Send an Email Instead 3 quests 2 yes 1 awaiting John Smith (144.23 per hour) L Organizer Olivia Jones (144.23 per hour) Justin Mendel (84.3 per hour) Vera Katts (120.19 per hour) v Alex Jones (110.3 per hour)