Server Go Brrr Behind The Serverless Curtain

Content Randolph West S randolphwest "nginx" is pronounced "Engine-X" "PostgreSQL" is pronounced "Post- gres" "MySQL" is pronounced "My-S-Q-L" "SQL Server" is pronounced "Sequel Server" "Kubernetes" is pronounced "Koober-netties" "SAP" is pronounced "S-A-p" "Oracle" is pronounced "Fetch the chequebook" 9:41 PM 4220 Twitter for Mac 1,868 Retweets 6,303 Likes 17 1 Proard

You wake up, grab your coffee, ready to push that commit you've been working on. GitHub is up. You're coding at 2 AM, desperately trying to deploy before the deadline. GitHub is up. But the moment you decide to be a responsible human and get some sleep? Boom. Downtime. Status page goes red. Twitter explodes. It's like GitHub has a personal vendetta against your sleep schedule. The universe has clearly designated you as the sole guardian whose consciousness keeps Microsoft's $7.5 billion acquisition running. The second your head hits the pillow, the hamsters powering GitHub's servers apparently take a union-mandated break. They probably do have a special server for you. It's called "production."

Content This is Mike Mike's job is to write highly performant code that can work under load and handle lots of requests concurrently. His apps also have to be highly precise and reliable - all user inputs must be thoroughly validated, concurrent requests must not interfere with each other, there must be absolutely no vulnerabilities. Mike needs to know how to find the best compromise between performance and data consistency: when to invalidate the cache, whether or not to wait for database write acknowledgement, and so on. He also needs to assume that his code will run in a cloud environment, in volatile containers that can be destroyed at any time. Mike is a backend developer. This is Jane Jane's job is to write apps that will run on 200 different versions of 10 different platforms, on thousands of different devices with various screen sizes. All these devices must be able to download, parse and bootstrap Jane's code in under 200 milliseconds. Jane works with a complex state tree that can be modified by various kinds of events, and the app's UI must be instantly updated to reflect these changes in the most efficient manner possible. Jane needs to know how to do code splitting, responsive layout, render virtualization, serverside rendering, handle browser-specific quirks, and so on. Jane is a frontend developer. This is Bob Bob thinks that Mike is a real developer, but Jane isn't. Bob is a moron.

Content DADDY, WHAT ARE CLOUDS MADE OF ? STARECAT.COM LINUX SERVERS, MOSTLY

AI companies pitching their next model like "just give us another 500 megawatts and we'll totally achieve AGI this time, we promise." The exponential scaling of AI training infrastructure has gotten so ridiculous that tech giants are literally partnering with nuclear power plants to feed their GPU farms. Microsoft's Three Mile Island deal, anyone? The tweet format is chef's kiss—the baby doubling in size with exponential growth that makes zero biological sense perfectly mirrors how AI companies keep scaling compute and expecting intelligence to magically emerge. "Just 10x the parameters again, bro. Trust me, bro. AGI is right around the corner." Meanwhile, the energy consumption is growing faster than the actual capabilities. Fun fact: Training GPT-3 consumed about 1,287 MWh of electricity—enough to power an average American home for 120 years. And that was the small one compared to what they're cooking up now.

Content DEVOPS AI ENGINEER TSA REINFORCEMENT LEARNING HOW DOES IT RUN MODEL BASEDON PHURCH NO, HOW DO YOU ON GOOGIE COLAR. RUN YOUR CODE BUTTS IN PYTHON OMEAN, HOW CAN YOU ingflipco MCTUALLY RUN IP