Server Go Brrr Behind The Serverless Curtain

Content Skills You have 6 out of the 10 preferred skills Data Integrity sOL TypeScript JavaScript Architecture Microservices American Welding Society (AWS) API Development Microsoft Azure Relationship Building

Ah yes, the evolution of version control pain. GitHub? Fancy tuxedo Pooh, quite respectable. GitLab? Regular Pooh, still decent but less glamorous. But Azure DevOps? That's maniacal grinning Pooh because setting it up is like assembling IKEA furniture while blindfolded and the instructions are written in hieroglyphics. Your manager says "shouldn't take you too long to get setup" and six hours later you're still configuring permissions and wondering if your sanity was part of the installation requirements.

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Content Close-cropped hair, just like Dad's when he worked at Big Blue. Power tie: all the color he requires. Computing is serious business. Keep a straight face. BACKPACK: PowerBook Duo 230; accessories Metricom Ricochet wireless modem - lomega Zip drive; five full cartridges Extended key. board and mouse - Nokia 100 cell phone Newton MessagePad A few scratched up floppy disks MacAddict - One 8-pin serial cable Piles of notes, papers and transit schedules. The casual "Seinfeld-cut' is in. Of course, Jerry would never use a PC. The earring isn't mak- ing the statement it once was, but it still helps to draw the line. BRIEF CASE: Portg Toshiba laptop - Microsoft Office installation disk- PC Magazine - Byte One Xircom Credit Card Ethernet modem - One 10-base T-cable An HF 32S calculator A Lotus penknife Needlenose pliers A multi-tip screwdrivei IBM Networking Center pen kept in custom-crafted pocket protector. You never know when you're going to need a PhoneNet connector. Mandatory wacky watch just looks cool. Imitation Rolex. The denim shirt is standard issue. Get Brooks Brothers. What else? FootLocker. What else? THE WINDOWS USER HOBBIES: No time for hobbies, still trying to install system. SECRET SHAME: Has a Mac at home for "the kids". Really, really liked Microsoft Bob. BELIEF: Thinks Bill Gates is God. THE MAC ADDICT HOBBIES: No time for hobbies, too busy spam- ming Windows-only developers. SECRET SHAME: Still uses WriteNow for word processing. BELIEF: Thinks Bill Gates thinks he's God. ProdrammerHumor.io

The DevOps infinity loop has evolved into its final form - a chaotic rainbow rollercoaster of despair. Build, fail, ignore, release, deploy, operate, be scared of layoffs, shareholder value, plan, code. Notice the "FOR OFFICE USE ONLY" stamp, which is corporate-speak for "we know this is broken but we're shipping it anyway." This isn't continuous integration; it's continuous resignation.

Content I Am Devloper iamdevloper Every now and then, ping one of your competitor's websites using an IE6 VM. Keep them on their toes. 11:57 AM Jul 24, 2018 Twitter Web Client 3.3K Retweets 10.2K Likes