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Posts tagged with Loading

PC "Turned On" But Not Ready For Duty

PC "Turned On" But Not Ready For Duty
When your PC says it's "turned on" but you know you've got 15 minutes of Steam and Discord updates before anything useful happens. The digital equivalent of a president stepping off Air Force One for a photo op while the actual work hasn't even started. Your computer isn't ready—it's just posing for the cameras.

The Fastest Editor In The West*

The Fastest Editor In The West*
Microsoft employee proudly shows off VS Code as "my fastest editor" while completely oblivious to the fact that it's still activating extensions in the background. Anyone who's ever opened VS Code knows that feeling of false hope when you think you can start coding immediately, only to stare at that loading bar for what feels like several geological eras. Sure, it's "fast"... if your definition of fast includes time to brew coffee, contemplate existence, and perhaps learn a new programming language while waiting.

Perfect Logo For Your AI Vaporware

Perfect Logo For Your AI Vaporware
Nothing says "I'm a serious AI startup" like using the universal symbol for "loading" as your logo. The German reply "perfectenschlag" is perfect - it's what Dwight from The Office used to describe "perfect pork anus" but also "perfect day." Just like this logo perfectly represents what most AI startups deliver - an eternal loading screen with nothing behind it. Venture capitalists, please form an orderly queue.

Ten Minutes To Check A Nickname

Ten Minutes To Check A Nickname
When your Discord registration is secretly running on a 486 processor from 1992. Ten minutes to check a nickname? In that time I could compile the Linux kernel, refactor my entire codebase, AND question all my life choices that led me to this moment. The spinning circle of doom is probably just a single-threaded function checking if your nickname contains any forbidden characters while simultaneously mining cryptocurrency on the side.