My Son's Girlfriend Is A Neural Network

Remember when we could just code without limits? Now we're all sobbing into our keyboards after ChatGPT hits us with that sweet "you've reached your usage limit" message. Suddenly you're forced to remember how to write a for-loop without AI assistance, like some kind of caveman programmer from 2021. The tears are real when you realize you'll have to debug your own code until your credit card statement resets.

The modern programmer's productivity killer isn't compiling code anymore—it's hitting the ChatGPT rate limit. Nothing quite justifies a coffee break like that "Too many requests" message. The best part? Even your manager can't argue with AI infrastructure limitations. "Sorry boss, I'm not slacking off... I'm just waiting for OpenAI's servers to let me be productive again." The perfect crime.

The noble aspirations of AI research versus the grim reality of where computational power actually goes. On the left, we have AI detecting breast cancer 5 years before it develops—potentially saving countless lives. On the right, some poor GPU is being absolutely tortured to render a cow at 15 FPS in what appears to be the world's jankiest video game, complete with a rage-filled gamer screaming about "fake frames." It's the perfect encapsulation of humanity's priorities: we build supercomputers that could solve humanity's greatest challenges, then immediately use them to make slightly better cow animations. The bottom corner showing all those graphics settings (RTX, DLSS, etc.) is just the chef's kiss of overkill for whatever that monstrosity is supposed to be.

The modern coding triangle of dependency! Students and ChatGPT walk hand-in-hand down the path of enlightenment (or cheating, depending on who you ask), while Stack Overflow watches from the shadows like a disappointed parent who knows they'll come crawling back eventually. Remember the good old days when we actually had to understand error messages? Now it's just "Hey ChatGPT, fix this garbage code" followed by "Actually, let me check Stack Overflow because this AI hallucinated a function that doesn't exist." The circle of developer life continues...

The honeymoon phase with AI coding assistants is officially over! Senior developers are throwing their hands up after a few weeks of dealing with hallucinated functions, confidently incorrect syntax, and those magical solutions that somehow break everything else in your codebase. It's like watching your junior dev confidently refactor your entire auth system without understanding what OAuth actually does. Back to Stack Overflow and cryptic documentation we go - at least those don't pretend to understand your project architecture!

Everyone's terrified of superintelligent AI destroying humanity, meanwhile actual AI is just slapping "-uary" onto every month like a sleep-deprived intern. "Maruary" and "Apruary" sound like months from a parallel universe where calendars were designed by a five-year-old. The real existential threat isn't Skynet—it's spreadsheets with months that sound like they were named after drinking too much eggnog. If this is the AI revolution, we can probably hold off on building those bunkers.