Stop Making Everything A One Liner

Ah, the strange tech timeline we exist in. Old enough to have endured the demonic screeching of dial-up modems connecting at 56kbps, waiting 10 minutes for a single JPEG to load... yet completely unable to tolerate a modern website that doesn't appear instantly. Our patience was forged in digital hellfire only to completely evaporate with technological progress. The irony of surviving 30-minute downloads back then but rage-closing Chrome tabs after 5 seconds now is the perfect encapsulation of how utterly spoiled we've become. Progress is a cruel mistress.

The future is now, old man! Someone's shocked that in 2025 some developers still write code without AI assistance, and Kenneth drops the mic with "yeah it's called programming." Remember when we used to solve problems with our brains instead of prompting ChatGPT? Pepperidge Farm remembers. Some devs still have the audacity to use their neurons instead of letting GitHub Copilot write their spaghetti code. The horror! It's like being surprised someone knows how to do math without a calculator. "You mean you're writing SQL queries WITHOUT letting AI hallucinate your database schema? What are you, a caveman?"

The eternal programmer life cycle, reduced to its purest form: while(alive) { eat(); sleep(); code(); } . But wait—someone forgot a critical function! Without poop() , this infinite loop is headed for disaster. It's basically the software equivalent of forgetting to add garbage collection to your runtime. The system resources (in this case, your digestive tract) will eventually crash with a catastrophic "PoopOverflow" exception. Next time you're designing your life algorithm, remember all the essential biological functions—or prepare for some seriously unhandled exceptions.

The eternal struggle with AI coding assistants. Claude keeps telling me my broken code is "absolutely right" while my application crashes and burns in the background. It's like having that one junior dev who confidently nods along to everything you say but has no idea what's happening. The real debugging begins when you have to figure out if you're the problem or if Claude is gaslighting you into believing your spaghetti code is a masterpiece.

Ah, the sweet relief of ditching memory management. One day you're wrestling with pointers, incrementing variables, and manually allocating memory like some digital janitor. The next day you're in Python's cushy automatic garbage collection paradise where the computer does all that tedious work for you. It's like trading in your stick shift for an automatic and never looking back at the clutch pedal. C++ developers in the audience are currently grinding their teeth at this gross oversimplification while secretly envying the Python dev's 3-hour lunch breaks.

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