Git Commands: The Ryanair Experience

The evolution of README files is getting out of hand! Starting with the basic README.md for normies, then leveling up to README.txt for the slightly cooler devs. But wait—README.pdf?! That's for those documentation wizards who want their formatting PERFECT. And README.mp4? That's galaxy-brain territory for devs who explain their code with ACTUAL VIDEOS! But the final form—Morse code on a telegraph machine—that's for the absolute legends who communicate in ways even Git can't track! Your commit messages may be bad, but at least you're not sending them via telegraph... yet! 😂

GitHub's password deprecation strategy is like a villain in a noir film. "Please enter your password... ah yes, thank you. By the way, passwords are dead to me now. Generate a token instead." The classic bait-and-switch executed with all the subtlety of a ransomware notification. Nothing says "we care about security" quite like making you use an outdated authentication method before telling you it's outdated.

Nothing strikes more fear into a developer's heart than asking for code review. The bear in the forest is just your senior dev who'd rather maul you than look at your 47 file changes with the comment "fixed stuff." The perfect survival strategy: create a PR so terrible that everyone suddenly develops selective blindness. Works on bears, tech leads, and that one architect who hasn't written actual code since Java 6.

Who needs spiritual enlightenment when you've got a CI/CD pipeline that actually works? That moment when all your deployment checks turn green is basically the tech equivalent of nirvana. After days of fighting with Docker configs and environment variables, seeing those green checkmarks feels better than any meditation retreat. The real religion of developers isn't in any ancient text—it's watching that deployment succeed without a single red error message. Pure bliss. Pure meaning. Pure validation that maybe—just maybe—you're not completely terrible at your job after all.

This meme is peak developer drama! It's satirizing the endless Git workflow wars by creating a fake interview where a celebrity supposedly declares herself a "git rebase" enthusiast. The "skill issue tbh" comment is the chef's kiss - perfectly capturing that smug developer energy we all know too well. For the uninitiated: git merge vs. git rebase is basically the programming equivalent of pineapple on pizza - a completely innocent technical preference that somehow sparks religious wars in every dev team. Rebase fans think they're the sophisticated elite keeping commit history clean, while merge advocates just want to live their messy, honest lives without rewriting history. The juxtaposition of celebrity glamour with nerdy Git commands is what makes this so brilliant. Nothing says "I'm better than you" quite like claiming your Git workflow preference is simply too advanced for the peasants to understand!

The perfect excuse has arrived! When GitHub Actions is down, productivity grinds to a halt faster than a recursive function without a base case. There's something beautifully legitimate about telling your manager "Sorry, can't deploy that critical fix - GitHub's down" while secretly enjoying your unexpected coffee break. The best part? Even the most demanding managers instantly transform from "GET BACK TO WORK" to "Oh, carry on" because they know arguing with cloud infrastructure outages is like trying to debug by adding more bugs. Sweet, sweet dependency-induced freedom.