Git Commands: The Ryanair Experience

Ah yes, the famous "GitHub Dictionary" where repositories are just "big chunks of code" and forking is "the term for code editing." And my personal favorite: a pull request is apparently an "e-note" asking for "edit rights." It's like watching your grandparents try to explain what you do for a living after you mentioned it once at Thanksgiving dinner. Next up: "The Hacker Known as Terminal" and "Why Cloud Computing Requires Umbrellas."

So Linus Torvalds just casually merged a branch called 'antigravity' where he used Google's AI to fix his visualization tool, and then—PLOT TWIST—had to manually undo everything the AI suggested because it was absolutely terrible. The man literally wrote "Is this much better than I could do by hand? Sure is." with the energy of someone who just spent three hours fixing what AI broke in three seconds. The irony is CHEF'S KISS: the creator of Linux and Git, arguably one of the most brilliant minds in open source, got bamboozled by an AI tool that was "generated with help from google, but of the normal kind" (translation: the AI was confidently wrong as usual). He ended up implementing a custom RectangleSelector because apparently AI thinks "builtin rectangle select" is a good solution when it absolutely is NOT. The title sarcastically suggests Linus doesn't know AI is useless, but honey, he CLEARLY knows. He just documented it for posterity in the most passive-aggressive commit message ever. Nothing says "AI is revolutionary" quite like manually rewriting everything it touched.

The unholy trinity of "rapid development" is on full display! The tweet claims Git, JavaScript, and Microsoft BASIC were all created in under a week—which is hilariously wrong and the perfect setup for the three-headed dragon meme below. Two fierce dragon heads represent Git and BASIC—powerful tools that required significant development time. But that third head? JavaScript with its derpy eyes and tongue sticking out perfectly captures how JS was indeed cobbled together in 10 days by Brendan Eich in 1995. Fun fact: Linus Torvalds spent months creating Git after the BitKeeper controversy, and BASIC took significant development at Microsoft. Meanwhile, JavaScript—despite being slapped together in a mad rush to compete with Java—somehow powers most of the modern web. Proof that sometimes the derpy dragon wins!

The code review nightmare in its natural habitat! The reviewer is bombarded with a buffet of coding atrocities—null pointer references lurking in the shadows, deprecated methods that should've been buried years ago, and a loop so obvious it's practically screaming for attention. But the pièce de résistance? That cyclomatic complexity of 36—a number so high it should come with its own warning label. For the uninitiated, cyclomatic complexity measures how many paths code can take. Anything over 10 is considered complex; 36 is basically a labyrinth designed by a sadistic developer who hates their future self. Yet despite this horror show, the reviewer's profound analysis boils down to checking if a variable is false. The cognitive dissonance is exquisite—like bringing a spoon to a gunfight and declaring yourself adequately armed.

The eternal tech interview charade! HR asks if you have Git experience, and there's Stewie confidently declaring he knows the sacred trio of commands: "git add .", "git commit -m", and "git push origin master". The punchline? He genuinely believes these three commands make him a Git expert. It's like saying you're a master chef because you can boil water and add salt. Every developer has been there - memorizing just enough commands to sound competent while secretly Googling "how to undo git commit" the moment something breaks. The audacity to claim "Yes, I think I understand the nuances of this profession" is peak junior developer energy!

Oh honey, the absolute BETRAYAL of running git blame on some cursed code only to discover that the culprit is... YOU. From three years ago. On a Friday. Because of COURSE it was a Friday—when your brain was already halfway to happy hour and you were just yeeting code into production like confetti at a parade. The way this developer goes from confident detective to having a full-blown existential crisis is *chef's kiss*. Nothing quite matches the horror of realizing you're not hunting down some incompetent colleague—you're staring into a mirror of your past self's crimes against coding. The ghost of Friday Past has come to haunt you, and it's wearing YOUR face.