The Consent Paradox: Microsoft Edition

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Content Why someone would use as a first programming language: Python: For it's simple syntax Java: To learn basic computer science concepts C: See Java BASIC: They were in cryogenic storage since 1968 Bash: To make themselves feel productive Git: To actually, why would someone use Git as their FIRST language? HTML: To make themselves feel like a programmer CSS: To make themselves feel like a cooler programmer JavaScript: They have a really good idea for a website TypeScript: They have a REALLY good idea for a website Brainfuck: They want to gain new respect for Alan Turing C: Meth addict that needs the same speed from their language C: Cocaine addict that needs the same speed from their language Carbon: To get a head-start on the 10-year job requirement PHP: Masochism Fortran: Masochism but with a better paycheck Rust: Cult induction Microsoft Excel: To feel like a geek without being a programmer Game of Life: Ooh... pretty squares.

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The year is 2025. Microsoft has fully absorbed GitHub, and the dystopian nightmare begins. GitHub users cower in fear as Microsoft whispers "Come closer..." only to drop the bombshell: "I NEED YOU TO ADD IPV6 SUPPORT TO GITHUB." It's the ultimate plot twist! After all the fears of Microsoft injecting telemetry, ads, or subscription tiers into GitHub, they're just desperately trying to drag their acquisition into modern networking standards. Still running on legacy IPv4 in 2025? That's the real horror story! The internet ran out of IPv4 addresses years ago, but GitHub's still clinging to them like SpongeBob to his spatula.

Content Microsoft Will No Longer Sell Windows 10 Product Keys OH NO! ANYWAY