big data Memes

I Have Seen Hell
Java Programming Python Debugging Backend
15 days ago 83.7K views 0 shares
I Have Seen Hell
Oh the thousand-yard stare of a dev who's been through dependency hell ! That moment when you're trying to resurrect ancient code and make Spark, Java, and Python play nice together... it's like trying to make three cats dance in formation! The smoking cigarette is basically a requirement after hour 12 of "but it worked on the original developer's machine!" Nothing ages you faster than compatibility issues from a codebase older than most interns at your company! 😭

Theres Another Meaning
Databases Security Programming Cloud
22 days ago 97.6K views 0 shares
Theres Another Meaning
Ah, the classic tech acronym mixup. One person thinks BDSM stands for Big Data Security Management (a perfectly innocent enterprise software solution), while the other person is thinking of... well, something entirely different. The real joke is that no one in IT has ever created an acronym that wasn't already taken by something NSFW. We're still waiting for someone to explain what the S in BDSM actually stands for in the tech context. Probably "scalable" because everything needs to be scalable these days.

The Facts
Python Cloud
3 months ago 35.8K views 0 shares
theFacts | developer-memes, code-memes, computing-memes, machine learning-memes, server-memes, loc-memes, machine-memes, lock-memes, data-memes, database-memes, if statement-memes, blockchain-memes, internet-memes, servers-memes, cloud-memes, mac-memes, artificial intelligence-memes, big data-memes, cs-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content Matt Watson 2nd 4x Founder, CTOCEO, Podcaster, Follow View my blog 4d "No code" is someone else's code. "Cloud" is someone else's servers. "Machine Learning" is just statistics on steroids. "Artificial Intelligence is a collection of IF statements written on a massive scale. "Blockchain" is a highly inefficient database, secured by collective distrust. "Big Data" is a lot of data that nobody knows what to do with. "Smart Home" is where your fridge knows more about your diet than you do. "Virtual Reality" is a fancy way to ignore the actual reality. "Quantum Computing" is a kind of computing that not even its developers fully understand. "Internet of Things" is making sure even your toaster is hackable.

The Facts
Python Cloud
3 months ago 35.9K views 0 shares
theFacts | developer-memes, code-memes, computing-memes, machine learning-memes, server-memes, loc-memes, machine-memes, lock-memes, data-memes, database-memes, if statement-memes, blockchain-memes, internet-memes, servers-memes, cloud-memes, mac-memes, artificial intelligence-memes, big data-memes, cs-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content Matt Watson 2nd 4x Founder, CTOCEO, Podcaster, ... Follow View my blog 4d "No code" is someone else's code. "Cloud" is someone else's servers. "Machine Learning" is just statistics on steroids. "Artificial Intelligence" is a collection of IF statements written on a massive scale. "Blockchain" is a highly inefficient database, secured by collective distrust. "Big Data" is a lot of data that nobody knows what to do with. "Smart Home" is where your fridge knows more about your diet than you do. "Virtual Reality" is a fancy way to ignore the actual reality. "Quantum Computing" is a kind of computing that not even its developers fully understand. "Internet of Things" is making sure even your toaster is hackable.

Title loves such BDSM(s)
Programming
3 months ago 20.6K views 0 shares
Title loves such BDSM(s) | design-memes, management-memes, data-memes, security-memes, monitor-memes, IT-memes, big data-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content I hate Everything else here, but THIS I like February 2 at 5:48 PM g Big Data Security Management Data Security Management Framewor Design BDSM improve BDSM Implement BDSM Monitor BOSM Operate BDSM BDSM stands for big data security It management, obviously

Scrum Masters Guide To Tech
StackOverflow Testing
4 months ago 17.2K views 0 shares
scrumMastersGuideToTech | tech-memes, design-memes, stack-memes, test-memes, data-memes, algorithm-memes, algorithms-memes, tested-memes, IT-memes, ide-memes, big data-memes, fullstack-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content DON'T SAY Technical debt X Data XEntire IT department XI don't know how this works X Deprecated SAY Iterative design process V Big Data Fullstack Dev Uses advanced algorithms Tried and tested

Person pulls prank to see if recruiters read the resumes and respond
Javascript Typescript Microsoft Python Java
11 months ago 39.6K views 0 shares
Person pulls prank to see if recruiters read the resumes and respond | javascript-memes, software-memes, computer-memes, tech-memes, java-memes, computer science-memes, web-memes, engineer-memes, software engineer-memes, machine learning-memes, stack-memes, server-memes, c++-memes, react-memes, node-memes, node.js-memes, loc-memes, machine-memes, lock-memes, data-memes, .net-memes, typescript-memes, algorithm-memes, scala-memes, performance-memes, oop-memes, hadoop-memes, search-memes, blockchain-memes, ethereum-memes, recruiters-memes, recruit-memes, linkedin-memes, servers-memes, microsoft-memes, edge-memes, ide-memes, mac-memes, big data-memes, pip-memes, pipeline-memes, tables-memes, full stack-memes, graph-memes, graphql-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content Angelina Lee Software Engineer Skills Experience Education 415-812-3329 AngelinaTheDevgmail.com angelinathedev.netlify.app Experienced software engineer with a background of building scalable systems in the fintech, health, and adult entertainment industries. Expert in JavaScript, TypeScript, Node.js, React Al, Mia Khalifa, C Instagram Senior Full Stack Engineer - Web App Team October 2018 - PRESENT, Palo Alto, California Built news feed infrastructure using React for Al on BlockChain Optimized web app feed performance through new server-side React larceny Al algorithm to quickly resolve big data pipeline Led team of 6 engineers to mine Ethereum on company servers Team coffee maker - ensured team of 6 was fully caffeinated with Antarctican coffee beans ground to 14 nm particles Zillow Senior Full Stack Engineer - Web App Team June 2015 - September 2018, San Francisco, California Added Al based GraphQL, resulting in 69 faster page loads Organized team bonding through company potato sack race resulting in increased team bonding and cohesity Rebuilt home display page with virtualized tables and map to provide a 420fps on screen experience with Lana Rhodes Evangelized and adopted RaeLilBlack React UI library Linkedin Software Engineer - Search Team June 2013 - September 2015, San Francisco, California Improved Linked search algorithm efficiency and accuracy through the usage of VoldemortDB, Charizard, and Hadoop Connected with Reid Hoffman on LinkedIn and slid in the dm's Implemented data quality improvements via deduplication and advanced profile ranking resulting in faster big data with React Microsoft Software Engineer Intern - Edge Team May 2011 - August 2012, Redmond, Washington Built React based big data pipeline to enhance deployment stability of Microsoft Edge browser on the Blockchain Spearheaded Microsofters 4 Trump company rally Spread Herpes STD to 60 of intern team University of California Berkeley B.S. in Computer Science August 2010 - May 2013, Berkeley, California Graduated Summa Cum Laude with a 3.94 GPA Helped found Machine Learning at Berkeley Club Phi Beta Phi - fraternity record for most vodka shots in one night 23482400 SAT score

MemeThese professors need to slow tf down.
Programming
1 year ago 13.3K views 0 shares
MemeThese professors need to slow tf down. | data-memes, IT-memes, big data-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content Big Data: What is it? Big Data is like teenage sex: Everyone talks about it Nobody really knows how to do it Everyone thinks everyone else is doing it So, everyone claims they are doing it.

Mongo is not meant for that..
Databases Backend
1 year ago 12.5K views 0 shares
Mongo is not meant for that.. | data-memes, mongo-memes, big data-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content OH YEAH, BABY! TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT! TALK TO ME LIKE YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT! WE DO BIG DATA USING MONGO THAT'S PERFECT!

Pro Tip: before making up a new acronym, make sure that it’s not already in use
Programming
1 year ago 18.0K views 0 shares
Pro Tip: before making up a new acronym, make sure that it’s not already in use | management-memes, data-memes, security-memes, big data-memes, framework-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content Big Data Security Management Data Security Management Framework Design BDSM Improve BDSM Implement BDSM Monitor BDSM Operate BDSM performance in rainst designed obiectives and provides feedback and performance he deficiencie BDSM stands for big data security curity design, quality control, and continuous improvem a ru ad option of a securi management, obviously nizations to iden- sess information security risks, apply suitable controls, adequately prod Er information assets curity breaches, and to achieve and maintain regulatory compliance. The ISO 27000 stpulates mation security management framework must deliver the following desirable outcomes (ISO Chapter 3 20

Minimum job requirements are what now??!
Javascript Python Java Linux Databases
1 year ago 29.2K views 0 shares
Minimum job requirements are what now??! | html-memes, css-memes, javascript-memes, software-memes, computer-memes, java-memes, computer science-memes, linux-memes, engineer-memes, design-memes, software engineer-memes, ux-memes, machine learning-memes, react-memes, data structures-memes, machine-memes, data-memes, requirements-memes, sql-memes, reactjs-memes, angularjs-memes, angular-memes, algorithm-memes, object-memes, algorithms-memes, cli-memes, edge-memes, ide-memes, mac-memes, train-memes, ML-memes, big data-memes, nosql-memes, mining-memes, language-memes, cs-memes, framework-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content Senior Software Engineer A successful video company, with millions of users worldwide, is seeking a senior software engineer. Work-life balance flexible hours. The amazing well equipped offices are in Tel Aviv (near the train station). n"in n7U D'TaV 200 - 50 Experience in developing large scale distributed systems. Deep understanding of strong Computer Science fundamentals: Object-Oriented design, data structures systems, applications programming and multithreading programming. 300 years of programming experience in Java or equivalent Object-Oriented language. Experience with SQL and NoSQL. Highly proficient in Linux environment. B.Sc in Computer Science or equivalent. Advantage: Experience with Big Data tools. Knowledge in algorithms, data-mining and machine learning. Experience in HTML, CSS, JavaScript, ReactS, AngularJS or other client frameworks.

GCP vs AWS
Databases AWS Backend Cloud
1 year ago 19.1K views 0 shares
GCP vs AWS | aws-memes, data-memes, sql-memes, oracle-memes, function-memes, gcp-memes, query-memes, cloud-memes, stream-memes, big data-memes, cs-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content Ouroboros OuroborosHQ GCP vs AWS. cloud How GCP names stuff You store stuff in cloud - Cloud storage SQL in cloud - Cloud SQL Query stuff from big data - BigQuery CDN for cloud - CloudDN Stream analvtics - DataFlow (cuz data flows in a stream O) Run stuff in cloud - Cloud Run Functions in cloud - Cloud Function How AWS names stuff Aurora Fargate Amplify Copilot Route 53 Port 53 handles DNS LightSail Polly Because the creators loved Nirvana SageMaker Because you'll quit your job to become a sage after using this Elastic Beanstalk Because the cred instagramhotos of beans Glue on instagram Kinesis Redshift Because you shift from Oracle whose colour is red. Greengrass Because green grass was involved when naming ails 4:25 AM Aug 14, 2021 ProdrammerHumor. i