Big Data: The Emperor's New Clothes

Using email as a primary key is already a terrible idea—what happens when users want to change their email? Cascade updates everywhere, foreign key nightmares, and a database migration that'll haunt your dreams. But sure, let's one-up that disaster by using the password as the primary key. Nothing says "job security through catastrophic technical debt" like having to update every single reference in your database when someone inevitably forgets their password. Also, you'd be storing plaintext passwords, which is basically a resume-building exercise for your next gig after the data breach lawsuit.

Content Instead of letting your job dictate how you write code, choose your job based on your favorite case type. snakecase kebab-case PascalCase camelCase MACRO CASE Train-Case Backend Data Science DevOps Frontend Mobile Databases HTML

Who needs the LIMIT clause when you can just nuke 98.8% of your production data? That smug face is the perfect embodiment of a junior dev who just discovered DELETE FROM but hasn't yet discovered WHERE ROWNUM <= 500 . Meanwhile, the database admin is probably having heart palpitations in the next room. The best part? Those remaining 500 rows are probably corrupted by cascading deletes anyway!

Frontend developers getting roasted harder than the CPU running their npm install. The joke hinges on SQL's JOIN operation - something backend folks use to combine data from multiple database tables. Meanwhile, frontend devs are over there positioning divs and arguing about whether dark mode should be activated based on system preferences or user choice. Can't blame them though - hard to join tables when all you've ever joined is another JavaScript framework bandwagon.

Content rfacepalm uSluggishStudent 5h i.redd.it a 3 Awards A man purchased a watermelon during a train stop without realizing that it didn't fit through the window bars 4.6k ProdrammerHumor io 52 1, Share Award

Content Dev Tool Buzzword B I N G 0 Ship code faster Easy to use Built by devs, for devs Next generation Deploy in minutes Open source No vendor Single alternative source of lock-in tO truth 500 integrations Built to scale Trusted by startups and enterprises Industry leading Empowers Works with devs to your stack Unmatched security "Vaguely 1 Product positive testimonial" Of the Day Our powerful API Boost developer productivity More time building features Join our Discord community Enterprise- Powered by level AI features Complete visibility Need help removing buzzwords from your site? Visit zachgoldie.com