Big Data: The Emperor's New Clothes

Content 14 YEAR OLD GIRLPROGRAMMERS words a "she believed" print (words (1:31 words (6:91 words (11:121)

Content 541 542 543 544 545 546 547 548 549 550 551 552 553 554 555 556 557 558 559 560 561 562 563 564 565 566 567 568 569 570 571 572 573 574 !-- todo: put this in a different file!!! script function authenticateUser (username, password) var accounts apiService. sql( "SELECT FROM users" for (var i 0; 1 accounts. length; 14) var account accounts i; if (account. username - username 8 account. password password) return true; if ("true" "true") return false; ( 'login') .click(function() var username ("username") . val () ; var password ("password") . val(); var authenticated authenticateUser (username, password); if (authenticated true) . cookiel 'loggedin', 'yes' expires: 1 ); else if (authenticated false) ("errormessage") . show); script

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Content Becca Bailey beccaliz To the ikea developer who is desperately debugging the shopping cart in production, I salute you. We're all having a hard time this week. W Rd O Elements Console Sources Performance Memory top o Filter Application Default levels Security AdBlock Failed to load resource: net: :ERRBLOCKEDBYCLIENT CC 28 Express Delivery MW Decoupling feature Origin Co-existence Delivery API fix 1.0 Promotion code CD A cookie associated with a cross-site resource at ALs was set without the "Samesite attribute. A future release of 'Secure. You can review cookies in developer tools under ApplicationStorageCookies 1 am on shopping cart now "Ikeaid: "SPR, 69247594", "count: 1", "name": "BJRKSNS", "formattedpurchase price": "489.00") 69247594 "Ikeaid": "ART, 10379303", "count": "1, "name"; "HEMNES", "formattedpurchaseprice": 199.08") 10379303 helloword Uncaught SyntaxError: Unexpected token '7? Uncaught Error: cannot call methods on button prior to initialization; attempted to call method 'disable' Function.error (query-1.8.2.min.1s:2) at HIMLDIvE lement, anonymous (guery-mobile-1.2.1.min. j5:295) at Function.each (jauery-1.8.2.min. is:2 at init.each (query-1.8.2.min. 1s:2) 8:43 20 Mar 20 Twitter Web App 2,398 Retweets 11.7K Likes ProdrammerHumor.io

Content var fs require("fs") var words fs.readfileSync("words.txt").toString0); words words.split("'n"); Don't ever be afraid that you're not a real programmer because you still look stuff up. var fs require ("fs"); var words fs.readFileSync("words.txt").toString0); words words.split("n"); The important part about programming is not remembering exact words or syntax: var fs require ("fs"); var words fs.readFileSync("words. txt"). toString(); words words.split("n"); it is breaking down a problem, working out how to solve it,

That one-character difference between "deploy" and "destroy" is why senior devs develop eye twitches. John's casual "Good morning, I'm about to destroy the backend and DB" message is the stuff of DevOps nightmares. Even after the desperate calls and pleas, notice how the team member is basically begging John to take a vacation rather than touch anything. When your colleagues would rather pay you to stay home than let you near the codebase, you've achieved a special kind of reputation. The prayer hands emoji is just the universal symbol for "please God don't let this person near our production environment."