The Convenience Foodchain

OH. MY. GOD. The AUDACITY of mentioning you're an open source developer on a date and expecting anyone to stick around! 💀 The second panel's empty chair is the ULTIMATE ghosting move. Like, honey, did you really think announcing your unpaid coding hobby would make someone swoon? Next time just say you're unemployed - it's basically the same thing but sounds less pretentious! The dating pool just EVAPORATED faster than RAM in a memory leak!

Content helloyouall sir 2 16 u "I use Linux as my operating system, " I state proudly to the unkempt, bearded man. He swivels around in his desk chair with a devilish gleam in his eyes, ready to mansplain with extreme precision. "Actually", he says with a grin, "Linux is just the kernel. You use GNU Linux!' I don't miss a beat and reply with a smirk, "I use Alpine, a distro that doesn't include the GNU Coreutils, or any other GNU code. It's Linux, but it's not GNULinux." The smile quickly drops from the man's face. His body begins convulsing and he foams at the mouth and drops to the floor with a sickly thud. As he writhes around he screams "-IT WAS COMPILED WITH GCC! THAT MEANS IT'S STILL GNU!" Coolly, I reply "If windows were compiled with GCC, would that make it GNU?" interrupt his response with "and work is being made on the kernel to make it more compiler-agnostic. Even if you were correct, you won't be for long With a sickly wheeze, the last of the man's life is ejected from his body. He lies on the floor, cold and limp. I've womansplained him to death. 153 S ProdrammerHumor.io

Content ooo verizon 9:10 AM ooo Verizon 9:10 AM 1 1 ooo verizon What do you know about material design? Oct 19. 2016. 10:22 PM Enough to know that Blue 600 is 1885 hex codes are hot Damn bov let me GIT some of that So is lava wouldn't mind giving you a unit test Oh don't tease me like that hope you're agile, be this just became a standup meeting Onlv if I can call vou CSS cause I like vour style I hope we can merge without any conflicts Let's do a pull request so we can commit and make it official call me scrum master cause I'II find all vour use cases Do you approach your sprints in waterfalls because you're making me wet the time and cost don't matter as long as I can scope out that ass Oct 19. 2016. 11:12 PM Are vou enterprise architecture because I like vour structure and how you operate girl let me gather your requirements 9:10 AM 6 11 00 Oct 20, 2016, 7:52 AM fyi I'm sharing this convo with my coworkers Oh I'm 100 doing the same 20 87 AM hope you're ready to deploy this package Oct 20, 2016, 9:37 AM Wanna come over later because I got a few things I want to demo from mv local AM as long as you can debug my performance Cont Oct 20. 2016. 12:11 PM hopefully my user experience leaves vou satisfied GIF Tune a Message. GIF Tune a Messade GIF

Google's passive-aggressive suggestion is the digital equivalent of a parent saying "I'm not mad, just disappointed." The eternal editor war continues as Google clearly takes sides in the Vim vs. Emacs holy war. Searching for Emacs only to be met with "Did you mean: vim" is like telling a Star Wars fan you prefer Star Trek—fighting words in certain circles. The editor rivalry is practically ancient in tech years, with developers forming tribal identities around their text editor of choice. Clearly, Google's search algorithm has chosen the cult of Vim, and isn't afraid to evangelize even when you're explicitly looking for its sworn enemy.

Content 9:41 A I ON 3 92 38 last seen today at 9:19 am looked into React today to broaden my general design knowledge. Just wanted to get an idea of what I can ask of devs. First time I've done any coding for three years.. Jeez, even getting started was an assault course. OK, need a code editor - download Visual Studio Code. Advice is to then download multiple extensions to improve syntax. Next, apparently I need Yarn. But I first need Homebrew to install Yarn. Download and install homebrew. This takes a while. Install Yarn. Apple then tells me it needs to update xcode. I let it. OK, cool, we're cruising... So I want to view some components. Apparently now I need to install an NPM library, but first I need to download node. I continue typing things into terminal, the meaning of which, I know not. Nearly 45 minutes has passed by this point and I have no idea what I've just done. I'm at literally step one of a tutorial. I go for a run instead. 5:16 pm V haha! fee like a screenshot of that message would get a lot of upvotes on r programmerhumor 5:18 pm Type a message

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