Who's Gonna Tell Her About The Syntax Error

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OH. MY. GOD. This flowchart is the MOST SAVAGE roast of programming languages I've ever witnessed! 💀 Want to make money but you're dumb? JavaScript it is! No friends? PHP is your soulmate! Like snakes? PYTHON, OBVIOUSLY! 🐍 The audacity of asking "Are you even a human?" before recommending Perl is just... *chef's kiss*. And don't get me started on how C++ is for people who don't want to be happy. THE TRUTH HURTS! This flowchart doesn't just choose a programming language for you—it reads your entire personality and then DRAGS IT across the floor! Whoever made this woke up and chose violence. Period.

Content 99 of frontend work is just centering divs CHANGE MY MIND

Every developer knows that proper debugging tools exist. And yet, there we are at 3 AM, littering our code with console.log() statements like breadcrumbs in a forest of bugs. Sure, it's primitive. Sure, your senior developer is judging you. But when that random string finally prints exactly where you expected it to, you feel like a goddamn genius. It's not elegant, but it gets the job done—just like duct tape on a space station.

Java devs watching JavaScript desperately add async and multiprocessing like they're collecting infinity stones. Meanwhile Java's been handling threads since '95 and these JS folks are acting like they invented parallel computing. Next they'll "discover" static typing and call it revolutionary. The circle of programming life: wait long enough and your ancient features become someone else's breakthrough innovation.

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