The Beginning Of An Idiocracy

The secret tech career hierarchy nobody tells you about in coding bootcamp: it's all about the beanie height-to-salary ratio. Want that six-figure software engineering job? Better start folding that beanie up! Meanwhile, the rest of us unemployed devs with our slouchy beanies are just one npm install away from dealing drugs in the parking lot. The real full-stack development is stacking your beanie just right during the Zoom interview.

Content Ok let's try running this code console. log("Hello World"); Output: ERROR Alright maybe then this will work let str "Hello World"; console.log (str); Output: ERROR 4 HOURS LATER This is getting ridiculous, I'll just restart at step 1 function generateString(s) variable a Output: ERROR console.log ("Hello World"); Output: Hello World! THAT WAS THE FIRST THING I TRIED!!!!

The eternal dance of trying to type return while Intellisense watches your every keystroke like a hawk. You start with re , thinking you're on the right track, then add tu and rn ... but that final keystroke? That's where dreams die. One misplaced finger and suddenly you're not exiting a function—you're apparently opening a RestaurantMenu class that you didn't even know existed in your codebase. The sheer joy on Intellisense's face (right side) compared to your growing frustration (left side) perfectly captures that moment when your IDE decides it knows better than you what you're trying to type. And of course, it's always when you're in a hurry or showing code to someone else that your IDE decides to showcase its comedic timing.

Content Normal Devs: Check for Security issues, audit their code, fix bugs. WebDevelopers: If we write the vulnerabilities faster than the hackers find them, we're good. A TS JS

Content php sucks lol avascript is bad and bloated python isn't real programming being aware that every programming language has its niche due to historical and usability reasons and hating on them makes no sense man, fuck MATLAB ProdrammerHumor.io

The cosmic weight scale has a new champion! While astronomers worry about black holes and neutron stars, developers know the true gravitational monsters: Python virtual environments, Node modules, and PyTorch/CUDA installations. Nothing collapses spacetime quite like waiting for npm install to finish or watching your disk space vanish as PyTorch downloads half the internet. At least black holes have the decency to be millions of light years away—your Python venv is right there, crushing your hard drive and your spirits simultaneously.