Street Magic: JavaScript Edition

Nothing says "I've chosen chaos" quite like starting your year on Day 0 instead of Day 1. The zero-indexing gang is out here living their best life, celebrating New Year's on what normies call December 31st, while the one-indexing peasants are just... wrong. The skeleton villain dramatically retreating is basically every zero-indexer when confronted with the reality that the rest of humanity starts counting at 1. They'll be back next year though, still insisting that arrays should start at 0 and so should calendars, apparently. The commitment to the bit is honestly impressive.

Ah, the classic developer paradox. Why spend 10 minutes crafting the perfect SQL query when you can waste 3 hours writing convoluted JavaScript filters instead? It's like bringing a telescope to find your glasses when they're sitting on your head. The irony is palpable - we'll analyze 500MB of data client-side before considering that maybe, just maybe, the database was literally designed for this exact purpose. But no, let's pull the entire table and filter it with 17 nested for-loops because we're efficient . Next week: "Why is our app so slow?" 🤔

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute HORROR of receiving this text message! 😱 It's like the entire programming apocalypse packed into a single notification! When your ride-sharing app has a complete meltdown and starts spewing raw code errors instead of actual information. "NaN minutes" because time is now just a meaningless concept, "[object Object]" because who needs actual driver information anyway, and "license plate undefined" because identifying vehicles is SO last century. This is what happens when the developer tests NOTHING and ships everything. Somewhere, a backend engineer is having heart palpitations while frantically scrolling through Stack Overflow.

The ultimate dad joke of programming languages! Despite sharing zero DNA with Java, JavaScript was named purely for marketing hype in the 90s. It's like naming your hamster "Tiger" because it sounds cooler. The sinister grin in the image perfectly captures Netscape's devious marketing team knowing they were about to confuse generations of developers with this naming atrocity. The relationship between Java and JavaScript is basically the same as car and carpet – superficially similar words describing completely unrelated things. Yet here we are, 25+ years later, still explaining to non-programmers that no, we can't fix their Java problem with our JavaScript skills.

Content C Closed miku-chan03 opened this issue on 18 Oct 2017 2 comments miku-chan03 commented on 18 Oct 2017 Contributor Hil I fixie wixied the JSON-api fucksy wucksie!!! xp I repwaced the Prototypes. func wiff a more -streamlined- kawaii Pwototypiee. funkywunks object that make the JS go sooper dooper fast!! XD starts twerking Can u pwease merge my pwull wequest senpai?!! UwU gaearon commented on 19 Oct 2017 Contributor what in the name of fuck I gaearon closed this permanently on 19 Oct 2017

Content actually using a debugger console. log("got here): console. log("aaaaaa") console.log("bbbbbb")