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Oh, the HORROR! Forget solitary confinement—this judge just handed down the most SAVAGE punishment in legal history! 💀 Two years of JavaScript?! Might as well sentence them to manually debugging an infinite loop while sitting on a throne of semicolons! The Finnish prison system thinks they're being progressive with their "rehabilitation" but forcing someone to deal with JavaScript's chaotic type coercion and callback hell is basically a war crime that violates the Geneva Convention. I'd literally rather break rocks in a chain gang than try to remember if I need to use "==" or "===" for the ten millionth time. The TRAUMA!

The JavaScript pushState() function has an unused parameter that literally does nothing but can't be removed because... backward compatibility! 🤦‍♂️ It's like that one useless function parameter that's been in your codebase for 5 years and everyone's too scared to remove it because "something might break." The documentation even admits it with a straight face: "This parameter exists for historical reasons, and cannot be omitted." The red scribbles perfectly capture every developer's reaction: "??? WTF" - which is basically the official technical term for legacy code maintenance.

Look, I've been building websites since the <blink> tag was cool, and nothing makes me reach for my metaphorical weapon faster than those damn chatbots popping up in every corner of the internet. They're like that coworker who keeps interrupting your flow with "quick questions." No, I don't want to "chat with a representative" when I'm just trying to check your business hours. No, I don't need a floating bubble following me around asking if I'm "finding everything okay." Just let me browse in peace! The only thing these chatbots have successfully helped me with is developing my clicking-the-X reflex to Olympic levels.

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The eternal developer purgatory: staring at an error message that might as well be written in ancient Sumerian. "Bad argument on line 237" — thanks for narrowing it down to just the entire function. Modern languages with their PhDs and billions in funding still can't tell you what you did wrong without making you feel like you're decoding the Enigma. Sure, let's spend 3 hours debugging what turns out to be a missing semicolon. Totally reasonable use of my finite existence on this planet.

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