Showing My Friend My Foolproof Parse Int Method

Content This is Mike Mike's job is to write highly performant code that can work under load and handle lots of requests concurrently. His apps also have to be highly precise and reliable - all user inputs must be thoroughly validated, concurrent requests must not interfere with each other, there must be absolutely no vulnerabilities. Mike needs to know how to find the best compromise between performance and data consistency: when to invalidate the cache, whether or not to wait for database write acknowledgement, and so on. He also needs to assume that his code will run in a cloud environment, in volatile containers that can be destroyed at any time. Mike is a backend developer. This is Jane Jane's job is to write apps that will run on 200 different versions of 10 different platforms, on thousands of different devices with various screen sizes. All these devices must be able to download, parse and bootstrap Jane's code in under 200 milliseconds. Jane works with a complex state tree that can be modified by various kinds of events, and the app's UI must be instantly updated to reflect these changes in the most efficient manner possible. Jane needs to know how to do code splitting, responsive layout, render virtualization, serverside rendering, handle browser-specific quirks, and so on. Jane is a frontend developer. This is Bob Bob thinks that Mike is a real developer, but Jane isn't. Bob is a moron.

Content Scartic dates fames 06012018 10:48 am June 2018 Th 10 17 24 Time Hour 12 25 26 10:48 am 28 Fr 29 Sa 23 30

The eternal developer job interview charade! Someone proudly claims they know "3 languages" which sounds impressive until they're pressed to name them. Turns out it's just the frontend trinity of JavaScript, HTML, and CSS. The interviewer's polite "thank you" speaks volumes—like claiming you're a polyglot because you know English, American English, and Australian English. Not exactly the C++, Rust, and Haskell flex they were hoping for. The classic "I'm a full-stack developer" starter pack strikes again!

The wise master delivers the ultimate JavaScript existential crisis. Developers love blaming their tools rather than facing the harsh truth—maybe it's not the language that's broken, but your understanding of it. Sure, JavaScript has quirks (looking at you, type coercion and "==" vs "==="), but it powers basically the entire internet. That moment when you realize your hatred of JavaScript might just be a convenient shield for not wanting to learn its deeper patterns. Brutal philosophical truth bombs from Avatar: The Last Airbender we never expected.

The absolute TRAUMA of having to explain JavaScript Promises to another human being! This poor developer would literally rather face a firing squad than attempt to articulate the hellscape of asynchronous programming. "Don't shoot! I am JS Developer" he pleads, but when asked to explain Promises? "SHOOT." The desperation! The drama! The absolute surrender to sweet, sweet death rather than explaining why your callback hell needed to be replaced with .then() chains that somehow became even MORE confusing! At least with death you only suffer once - explaining Promises is eternal suffering!

Japanese train stations 🤝 programmers: indexing from zero. While normal humans count from 1, this train platform proudly displays platforms 0 and 1 for the Shinonoi Line, proving that somewhere, a developer was definitely in charge of the numbering system. The non-tech folks probably wonder why they can't just use normal numbers like civilized people, but we know better. Arrays start at 0, platforms start at 0, life starts at 0. It's the natural order of things if you've spent enough time staring at code until your eyes bleed.