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Content Python: What if everything was a dict? Java: What if everything was an object? JavaScript: What if everything was a dict and an object? C: What if everything was a pointer? APL: What if everything was an array? Tcl: What if everything was a string? Prolog: What if everything was a term? LISP: What if everything was a pair? Scheme: What if everything was a function? Haskell: What if everything was a monad? Assembly: What if everything was a register? Cog: What if everything was a typeproposition? COBOL: WHAT IF EVERYTHING WAS UPPERCASE? C: What if everything was like Java, but different? Ruby: What if everything was monkey patched? Pascal: BEGIN What if everything was structured? END C: What if we added everything to the language? C11: What if we forgot to stop adding stuff? Rust: What if garbage collection didn't exist? Go: What if we tried designing C a second time? Perl: What if shell, sed, and awk were one language? Perl6: What if we took the joke too far? PHP: What if we wanted to make SQL injection easier? VB: What if we wanted to allow anyone to program? VB.NET: What if we wanted to stop them again? Forth: What if everything was a stack? ColorForth: What if the stack was green? PostScript: What if everything was printed at 600dpi? XSLT: What if everything was an XML element? Make: What if everything was a dependency? m4: What if everything was incomprehensibly quoted? Scala: What if Haskell ran on the JVM? Clojure: What if LISP ran on the JVM? Lua: What if game developers got tired of C? Mathematica: What if Stephen Wolfram invented everything? Malbolge: What if there is no god? nixcraft ProarammerHumor.io

The absolute PEAK of programming dad jokes has been achieved! 🏆 The left shows an if statement in code that returns different names based on gender, while the right shows a literal Nintendo Switch carrying case. Get it? IF statement vs SWITCH case! I'm absolutely DYING at how gloriously terrible this pun is. The kind of joke that makes your non-programmer friends stare at you in silent judgment while you wheeze-laugh alone in the corner.

Content THEY DON'T KNOW THAT JAVASCRIPT SUCKS DO. IT'S ALL YOU TALK ABOU

Ah, the family tree of dependency hell! Just like how you can't exist without Mom and Dad, and they somehow need you to function (especially when they need tech support), your code shouldn't form these ridiculous loops either. This is basically every developer justifying their spaghetti architecture with "but it works in real life!" Sure, and my code works on my machine too. Doesn't mean it's not a disaster waiting to happen when someone else tries to untangle your family issues—I mean, dependencies.

Content Sort B Tree in O(1) time. A job interview for making CRUD apps with react

The guy playing ping pong with a door handle instead of a paddle is basically all of us diving into a new programming language without bothering to read the docs first. Sure, you could spend three hours reading proper syntax and best practices, or you could just start hacking away and Google error messages as they appear. Who has time for documentation when there's a deadline tomorrow and Stack Overflow exists? Ten years in the industry and I still find myself doing this. The cycle never ends - new framework drops, copy-paste some examples, break everything, fix it somehow, and suddenly you're an "expert" giving talks about it.