Node Modules: The Black Hole Of Your Hard Drive

Content I don't get why Javascript gets such a bad rap: You take a whatever and put that as an argument into a function that could also be an object, and then you transform that whatever into a whatever that another function, or whatever, will be able to render to the user. Easy peasy.

Content PROBLEM: JAVASCRIPT HAS ALMOST NO STANDARD LIBRARY SOLUTION: THOUSANDS OF COMMUNITY -SUPPORTED LIBRARIES OF WILDLY VARYING QUALITY PROBLEM: JAVASCRIPT HAS NO PACKAGING OR A LINKER TO TIE THESE PACKAGES TOGETHER PROBLEM: JAVASCRIPT WON'T RUN OUTSIDE THE BROWSER SOLUTION: V8 PROBLEM: JAVASCRIPT IS SINGLE -THREAD BY DESIGN SOLUTION: ASYNCHRONOUS PROGRAMMING, NODE. JS PROBLEM: CALLBACK HELL PROBLEM: PROTOTYPAL INHERITANCE IS PANTS -ON- HEAD STUPID THAT'S RIGHT, I SAID IT. PROBLEM: WEB RESOURCES NEED TO BE MINIFIED AND ZIPPED FOR PERFORMANCE PROBLEM: THE DOM IS TOO SLOW FOR VIDEO GAMES SOLUTION: CANVAS PROBLEM: JAVASCRIPT IS TOO SLOW FOR VIDEO GAMES SOLUTION: USE AN ASSEMBLY- LIKE SUBSET OF JAVASCRIPT CALLED ASM.JS PROBLEM: ASM.JS IS BASICALLY UNWRITABLE 4 HUMANS. SOLUTION: COMPILE A BETTER LANGUAGE TO JAVASCRIPT (C, EMASCRIPT 2016, COFFEESCRIPT, JSX) SOLUTION: HUNDREDS OF COMMUNITY SUPPORTED BUILD TOOLS OF WILDLY VARYING QUALITY PROBLEM: GRUNT. SOLUTION: GULP PROBLEM: GULP PROBLEM: MACHINE GENERATED OUTPUT IS MORE DIFFICULT TO DEBUG PROBLEM: ASYNC IS STILL A NIGHTMARE, HUH? PROBLEM: BALLOONING PROJECT SIZE AND COMPLEXITY PROBLEM: JAVASCRIPT STILL DOESN'T DO EVERYTHING PROBLEM: OUTPUT RUNS VERY SLOWLY ON MOBILE DEVICES SOLUTION: ELECTRON, PHONEGAP, FIREFOXOS HOW IS DIGGING GOING TO GET US OUT OF THIS HOLE? WHERE I AM FROM, THE POINT OF DIGGING IS NOT FREEDOM FROM DIGGING

Content x undefined undefined Math.sin(x) de nd n U f i d ne e f d e in

Content Planet Deaths 120,315,672,896 Has JavaScript NO NO YES NO NO 9 9 2 NO COINCIDENCE?

Content Dad: Why are your eyes red son? Son: I smoke weed Dad: Don't lie, you're crying because you have been coding in JavaScript Code

Ah, the endless scroll of nested if statements! This comic perfectly captures that moment when your code logic gets so deep you need a spelunking team to find your way back out. The comic just keeps going... and going... and going... just like that conditional nightmare you wrote at 3 AM that seemed like a good idea at the time. By the time you reach the end, you've forgotten what the original condition even was! This is why senior devs wake up in cold sweats screaming "REFACTOR!" and why code reviewers contemplate career changes. The real horror isn't the monster under your bed—it's the 17 nested if statements waiting for you in Monday's code review.