Distracted By The Shiny New Runtime

You start the "30 Days of JavaScript" challenge with such hope and optimism. "I'll finally master JS," you tell yourself. Fast forward to day 30, and you're a broken shell of a developer questioning every life choice that led you to this point. The callback hell, the prototype inheritance, the "this" keyword changing context like your ex changes their mind. JavaScript doesn't teach you code—it teaches you pain .

Content WHY AREN'T YOU CODING? UM... so you knOw HOw REGULAR EXPRESSIONS ARE HARD TO READ? AND I KNOW IT SOUNDS STUPID, BUT-LET ME GUESS: YOU GOT THE REGULAR EXPRESSION TO ANALYSE ITSELF, AND NOW IT'S TAKEN OVER YOUR COMPUTER AND SEEMS To HAVE BECOME SELF-AWARE? SO, UH, I BUILT A TOOL TO AUTOMATICALLY ANALYSE AND EXPLAIN ANY REGULAR EXPRESSION. THE TOOL WAS ITSELF JUST ONE BIG REGULAR EXPRESSION. HOW DId YOU KNOW? HAPPENS EVERY DAMN TIME... RIGHT, WE'RE GOINg TO NEED A USB STICK, A LARGE MAGNET, AND SOME HOLY WATER. UH QUICKLY PLEASE. TIME IS A FACTOR. WHYARENTYOUCODING.COM

Content ?php header ("Content-type: texthtml; charsetutf-8"); This is a warning to any poor soul who may have to deal with this code. I took over this criminal piece of chaos from a monkey named Joel who I assume had been given a typewriter by Mephistopheles himself. For reasons I have yet been unable to fathom, he decided to patch together this thing using a BaseX setup hardwired into an unfixably broken Manjaro VM, queried by a handwritten plate of uncommented PH spaghetti fit to feed an army of people with a serious death wish, without any framework or CMS. The very long BaseX script, very long PH presenter and very long XSLT stylesheet mostly perform the same heuristic document structuring for different components and are supposed to produce compatible results, but I bet they have mismatches somewhere. Since Prof. T just wanted a few small functional enhancements, I decided to just patch it and keep the general setup. Unless you were hired to correct some spelling mistakes, DO NOT FOLLOW IN MY STEPS. Putting up with this simulation of how a goldfish would design a system has literally given me CLINICAL DEPRESSION. This is not an exaggeration, I am writing this after a prolonged medical therapy - mostly successful, thanks for asking, but not fun. I wouldn't wish this code on anybody who isn't a manager at Oracle or Facebook, and therefore give you this sincere advice: Nuke this. Take the XSLT if you must, and then nuke the app and recreate it in Django or whatever works for you. I would do it myself, but I risked a relapse simply by opening this file again to write this comment. Dear brother or sister, I wish you all the luck and strength in the world and hope it will be enough. Farewell. error reporting (E ALL); ini set ("display errors", true); print '?xmi version"1.o" encoding"UTFg" 7'

Content Planet Deaths 120,315,678,8964 Has JavaScript NO NO y EI No 9 9 9 NE NO COINCIDENCE?

The eternal tragedy of dating a non-programmer. She says "1st table" but he's sitting at "Table 00" because in his world, counting starts at zero. Meanwhile, she's at "Table 01" wondering why she matched with this pedantic nerd in the first place. This is why programmers stay single – we're too busy arguing about whether arrays start at 0 or 1 to realize we're missing the date entirely.

You use if statements with spaces after the keyword. I use the proper syntax with no space. That stern look isn't just for show—it's the face of someone who's saved kilobytes across a career by eliminating unnecessary whitespace. Ten years from now, when your codebase is 17KB larger than mine for no functional benefit, you'll understand. Efficiency isn't just about algorithms; it's a lifestyle.