Any Language Except JSON

THE ABSOLUTE TRAGEDY of variable naming! Everyone's DESPERATE to create cryptic little monsters like "fm" but when it comes time to actually UNDERSTAND what these hieroglyphic abominations mean? CRICKETS. TUMBLEWEEDS. DEAD SILENCE. It's the coding equivalent of writing a passionate love letter in invisible ink and then setting the paper on fire. "Look at me, I saved 11 whole characters by naming this variable 'x' instead of 'customerTransactionHistory'! I'M A GENIUS!" And then three months later you're sobbing at 3 AM wondering what demonic possession led you to believe 'fm' was an intuitive name for ANYTHING. 💀

Ah, the perfect programming language genealogy! Dad C is clearly the patriarch who spawned multiple generations of languages. His eldest son Objective C looks so proper, while PHP is that quirky middle child nobody quite understands. Little C# is literally Dad's mini-me, complete with glasses! Mom Java sits proudly with her pet Lisp (functional programming is her hobby, obviously). And then there's JavaScript - the rebellious teenager with the punk mohawk who probably tells everyone "I'm not really related to Java despite my name." The family resemblance is uncanny - syntax inheritance at its finest!

Content (10-4) g push -- force Counting objects: 27, done. Delta compression using up to 8 threads. Compressing objects: 100 (2727), done. Writing objects: 100 (2727), 4.66 KiB 0 bytess, done. Total 27 (delta 20), reused 0 (delta 0) remote: remote: remote: remote: remote: remote: remote: remote: remote: remote: remote: remote: remote: remote: remote: remote: remote: remote: remote: remote: remote: remote: remote: remote: remote: remote: remote: View pull request for feature remote: https:bitbucket.org remote: To ssh:bitbucket.org 08f3705. .19abb3b feature - feature 1------1- 1--- - - - 1 - 1 n - pull-requests11?t1 (forced update)

Content closed miku-chan03 opened this issue on 18 Oct 2017 2 comments miku-chan03 commented on 18 Oct 2017 Contributor 5 HIr- 1 fixie wixied the JSON-api fucksy wucksie!!! xpp I repwaced the Prototypes. func wiff a more -streamylined- kawaii Pwototypiee. funkywunks object that make the JS go sooper dooper fast!! D starts twerking Can u pwease merge my pwull wequest senpai?!! UwU gaearon commented on 19 Oct 2017 Contributor what in the name of fuck 1G gaearon closed this permanently on 19 Oct 2017

The toughest developers who fearlessly debug production issues at 3 AM suddenly turn into trembling wrecks when faced with a global array full of zeros. Nothing strikes terror into a programmer's heart quite like stumbling upon someone else's undocumented global variables. Those zeros aren't just empty values—they're empty promises . Whatever story that code was supposed to tell has been wiped clean, leaving only the haunting structure behind. It's like finding a murder scene where the killer meticulously cleaned up all the evidence except for the chalk outline.

Backend developers live in a simpler world. Need to print "Hello World"? That's like 3 lines of code in most languages. But then they peek over at the frontend React ecosystem and witness the horror... To build a basic React app in 2023, you need: Node.js, npm/yarn/pnpm, webpack/vite/parcel, babel, ESLint, Prettier, TypeScript, a state management library, a CSS framework, a component library, testing tools, and probably 5 more dependencies just to display those magical words on screen. The face on the right perfectly captures that moment of existential dread when a backend dev realizes the npm install is still running after 5 minutes just to render two words. Pure frontend chaos.