We Are Gonna Make It

Content Javascript A nondeterministic markup language suspected to be Turing complete. Its users are often mistakenly called developers. On the seventh day God took a shit and javascript was born. by EducatedGuess March 4, 2018 FLAG

Content C A programming language for Real Men. Most languages try to provide a simplified way to solve specific problems well. C makes no such concession and tries to be mediocre at everything. It lets you program at a very high level, and a very low level in the same program. It lets you write procedural code, object oriented code, generic code and mix them all up. It makes you decide everything and provides no help if you get it wrong. It is by far the biggest, most complicated, ugly, down-right dangerous language you can use. But it does run fast. It takes at least twice as long to program in C as any other major language (except C). The men who program in C are Real Men. The women who program in C are Real Men too. You can spot a C programmer from their testosterone fueled swagger, and the unbelievable amount of contempt they inject into the phrase Java "programmer". They'll probably do the air quotes and all.

The programming language family portrait nobody asked for but everyone needed! Papa C sits proudly with his offspring, each representing their true nature in the coding ecosystem. C# is the well-behaved child still following Dad's rules. JavaScript is the rebellious teenager with that "I'll do things MY way" hairstyle. Java looks suspiciously like the neighbor who's always borrowing sugar. PHP is that kid who somehow functions despite all odds. Objective C is just trying to stay relevant in the corner. And Lisp? Lisp is the cat because nobody understands what it's saying but it's somehow essential to the household. The family that compiles together, stays together... except JavaScript, who's definitely moving out to become a rockstar.

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OH. MY. GOD. This poor father is inflicting Java 2 on INFANTS! The absolute HORROR! 😱 That baby on the left is clearly having an existential crisis while the toddler on the right is still blissfully unaware her childhood joy is being sacrificed at the altar of semicolons and boilerplate code! This is basically the programming equivalent of showing toddlers tax forms as bedtime stories! Next thing you know, these poor children will be dreaming of garbage collection and static typing before they can even spell their own names! Somebody call child services - this is a case of premature object orientation if I've ever seen one!

Content Your resume says you know Python, Java, C, C, C, SQL, JS, Rust, ..., Perfect, then you should know how to select all in SQL Yup, worked with all of them