To All You Java Enjoyers Out There Why Do You Do This

Content Description Prisoners In Finland Live In Open Prisons Where They Learn Tech Skills On The Ground Risto Paasivirta 6 months ago For your crimes i shall sentence you to a two year course of JavaScript. 27K El 268 ProarammerHumor.io

Content Python: What if everything was a dict? Java: What if everything was an object? JavaScript: What if everything was a dict and an object? C: What if everything was a pointer? APL: What if everything was an array? Tel: What if everything was a string? Prolog: What if everything was a term? LISP: What if everything was a pair? Scheme: What if everything was a function? Haskell: What if everything was a monad? Assembly: What if everything was a register? Coq: What if everything was a typeproposition? COBOL: WHAT IF EVERYTHING WAS UPPERCASE? C: What if everything was like Java, but different? Ruby: What if everything was monkey patched? Pascal: BEGIN What if everything was structured? END C: What if we added everything to the language? C11: What if we forgot to stop adding stuff? Rust: What if garbage collection didn't exist? Go: What if we tried designing C a second time? Perl: What if shell, sed, and awk were one language? Peri6: What if we took the joke too far? PHP: What if we wanted to make SQL injection easier? VB: What if we wanted to allow anyone to program? VB.NET: What if we wanted to stop them again? Forth: What if everything was a stack? ColorForth: What if the stack was green? PostScript: What if everything was printed at 600dpi? XSLT: What if everything was an XML element? Make: What if everything was a dependency? m4: What if everything was incomprehensibly quoted? Scala: What if Haskell ran on the JVM? Clojure: What if LISP ran on the JVM? Lua: What if game developers got tired of C? Mathematica: What if Stephen Wolfram invented everything? Malbolge: What if there is no god? nixcraft ProcrammerHumor

Content You can choose any language) you like, but our preference is in this order: Golang Python Java C C (Anything else you choose) () Javascript is not a language. Please do not choose this.

The holy war of brace styles rages on, but this code takes it to a whole new level of depravity. While the tweet generously says "Use whatever brace style you prefer," it then showcases code with braces scattered like confetti after a New Year's party. Those closing triple braces at the end? Pure nightmare fuel. It's like watching someone build a house where some doors open inward, some outward, and others just lead to brick walls. The inconsistent indentation is the cherry on top of this crime against humanity. This is why code reviews exist. And therapists.

Listen, there are certain sacred traditions in coding that you just don't question. Using i and j as loop variables isn't a choice—it's practically written in the ancient scrolls of computer science. Passed down from the FORTRAN elders to every generation since. Try using pancake and waffle as your nested loop variables during a code review and watch your senior dev have an existential crisis. The programming gods will smite you with merge conflicts for the rest of eternity. Sure, we could use more descriptive variable names, but that would be... reasonable? And we can't have that. IT'S THE LAW!

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