Java: Making Things Suck Since 1995

The Java logo has become the universal symbol for "this will make anything unnecessarily complex and resource-hungry, but somehow still work." Slap that bad boy on a broken appliance, and suddenly it's not just a vacuum—it's an enterprise-grade dust acquisition system with 16GB memory requirements and three dependency injection frameworks. The only thing missing is the vacuum asking if you want to update it every 3 minutes while you're trying to clean.