Guilty As Charged

Ah yes, the classic "first PC build" with *checks notes* 14 RGB fans, custom water cooling loop, and enough LEDs to be visible from the International Space Station. This is like saying "Just started cooking" while showing off your 15-course molecular gastronomy dinner. The RGB alone probably cost more than my entire development machine. Meanwhile, the actual code running on this beauty is probably just a Hello World program that took 3 days to debug because they spent all their time configuring the perfect rainbow wave pattern instead of learning syntax.

NVIDIA CEO: "Just use AI to double your VRAM!" My wallet: *screams in financial agony* 💸 The AUDACITY of suggesting we just casually drop $3000 on a graphics card! What's next? Selling a kidney to run Stable Diffusion? The absolute DELUSION that we're all swimming in money pools like tech billionaires! Meanwhile I'm over here calculating if I can afford both electricity AND ramen this month. The GPU market isn't just a clown show anymore—it's the entire circus, complete with overpriced admission tickets! 🎪

Black Friday "deals" on RAM prices are basically just retailers putting on clown makeup. You watch the same DDR5 kit climb from $134k to $156k over the weeks leading up to Black Friday, then they slap a "MEGA SALE" sticker on it at $629k and expect you to be grateful. It's like they're not even trying anymore—just straight up insulting your intelligence while you're standing there with your wallet out like William Wallace ready to charge into financial ruin for some memory sticks. The pricing strategy is so transparent it hurts. They're literally training us to wait for "sales" that cost 4x more than the regular price. Peak capitalism meets peak absurdity.

THE BETRAYAL! You spend your life savings on Valve's so-called "Steam Machine" expecting some magnificent steampunk contraption powered by ACTUAL STEAM—gears churning, pistons pumping, whistles screaming—only to discover it's just another boring black box that plugs into the wall! WHERE ARE MY VICTORIAN-ERA MECHANICS?! Patrick Star is literally all of us, dressed in steampunk attire, glaring at this pathetic electricity-dependent impostor. I wanted coal shoveling and pressure gauges, but instead got... a power button? The audacity! The false advertising! I've never felt so deceived since I found out the cloud isn't made of cotton candy!

Guy wakes up from a decade-long coma excited about his "powerful" 8GB graphics card, completely unaware that GPU prices have gone full circle. In 2013, an 8GB card was high-end. Then came the crypto mining apocalypse, scalpers, and chip shortages that made buying any GPU require a second mortgage. Now he's about to discover his ancient dream card costs more than it did when he went under. The circle of GPU life continues.

Remember when we used to brag about our rigs running Crysis? Fast forward to 2025, and we're still using poorly optimized games as hardware benchmarks. Borderlands 4 is the new "but can it run Crysis?" — the question that separates the budget builds from the second-mortgage-required setups. The circle of tech life continues: developers release unoptimized code, hardware manufacturers rejoice, and our wallets quietly weep in the corner. Some traditions never die, they just get more expensive texture packs.