Need Reviewers By EOD Thanks

The ultimate Git soundtrack for those weekend coding sessions! Someone created a Spotify playlist with tracks that perfectly capture the emotional rollercoaster of version control. From the hopeful "Pull It" and "Push It" to the triumphant "Committed," the playlist quickly spirals into the all-too-familiar territory with "My Computer is Dying" and "Catastrophic Failure." And the grand finale? "F*** This S*** I'm Out" - the universal anthem played right after running git merge on the wrong branch at 11:59 PM on Friday. Only 17 minutes long because that's exactly how long it takes for Git to destroy your weekend plans.

The AUDACITY of open source projects having to explicitly tell contributors "Please do not add malware" is sending me to another dimension! 💀 Like, imagine submitting your PR and thinking "hmm, should I solve this bug OR secretly install a keylogger that steals everyone's credit card info?" The fact that this needs to be a written rule is both HILARIOUS and TERRIFYING. It's giving "Swiper no swiping" energy but for hackers trying to sneak in backdoors. The maintainers are basically Dora, desperately trying to stop the malicious foxes of the coding world!

OH. MY. GOD. Witness the absolute PEAK of open source contribution! 💅 Our hero swoops in with the MOST revolutionary five-word commit of all time: "I'm not working on this. Closing." And then—PLOT TWIST—they mark it as COMPLETED! The AUDACITY! The EFFICIENCY! This is basically software development's equivalent of showing up to a house fire with a water gun, declaring "I'm not putting this out," and then collecting a firefighter medal. Pure. Chaotic. Genius. 🏆

The perfect visualization of what happens when management demands a rush deployment to production. Your untested code (the toad) riding precariously on your CI/CD pipeline (the toy horse) is somehow expected to gallop majestically into the production environment. The toad looks just as confused as the dev team that got the "ship it now" Slack message at 4:55 PM on Friday. Bonus points if you've ever named your Jenkins pipeline "Mister Jenkins" in your config files just to make error messages more personal.

The eternal duality of developer urgency! Your product manager frantically messages: "Need this PR merged ASAP!!!" But what they don't realize is you've mastered the art of interpreting "ASAP" as "As Slow As Possible." Like Skeletor here, you'll confidently declare your alternative interpretation before quietly slipping away into the shadows. That urgent feature request? It'll be ready when it's ready... which coincidentally aligns perfectly with your existing plans to refactor that completely unrelated module first. The best part? When they finally catch up with you three sprints later, you can just blame it on "unexpected technical complexities" and "proper testing protocols." Checkmate, management.

Git renamed the default branch from "master" to "main" a few years back for inclusivity reasons, and the tech world collectively nodded in approval. But developers? We're creatures of muscle memory and habit. After typing "git checkout master" for a decade, suddenly switching to "main" feels like learning to write with your other hand. But "_start"? Now that's the real winner here. It's got that raw, unfiltered energy of someone who just wants to get stuff done without getting tangled in naming conventions. No politics, no legacy baggage—just pure, unapologetic functionality. Plus, it perfectly captures that "I'm starting fresh and I don't care about your conventions" vibe that every developer secretly wishes they could embrace. Honestly, "_start" sounds like what you'd name your branch at 2 PM on a Friday when you've already mentally checked out but still need to push that feature.