Lump Based Development

Future managers surrounded by AI robots, desperately hunting down poor Devin who pushed that production bug? Welcome to the dystopian future where git blame has evolved beyond finding the commit author—it now deploys an army of robots to hunt you down. The irony is palpable. We've created AI sophisticated enough to replace workers, yet management still needs to find a human scapegoat. Some traditions never die, even in 2030. Pro tip: Always commit under your coworker's name when pushing questionable code. Future survival depends on it.

The Reddit algorithm has commitment issues worse than those wedding day deserters. You're scrolling through a thread about people abandoning their partners at the altar, and BAM—suddenly you're being pitched a GitHub issue processor for AI coding that costs less than a gumball. It's like the algorithm saw a thread about relationship abandonment and thought, "You know what this person needs? Some cheap API calls!" The digital equivalent of responding to someone's breakup story with "That's rough buddy, wanna see my new keyboard shortcuts?"

OH THE SHEER DEVASTATION! 💀 You've spent the last two hours crafting 200 lines of pure genius—algorithms that would make Dijkstra weep with joy—and then your computer just... DECIDES IT'S HAD ENOUGH OF EXISTENCE! That moment when your finger hovers over Ctrl+S but you thought "I'll save it after this one little change" for the 47th time in a row. Your computer is literally contemplating digital suicide rather than dealing with your chaotic coding habits! The universe's way of teaching you that auto-save features exist for a reason, you magnificent disaster!

Oh nooo! The ghost keeps saying "Boo" but the stick figure isn't scared... until they reveal their true horror - using zip files for version control! 😱 You know you've reached peak coding chaos when your version control system is just a folder of proj_1.zip , proj_2.zip , and the dreaded proj_last.zip ! The ghost couldn't scare them, but their file management made every developer scream in terror! Git commit or get haunted by your own file system!

Ah, the Linux purist paradox. Proudly declares "MS is bullshit" while mentioning they use Arch (because of course they do), but then gets absolutely triggered when asked about using GitHub (owned by Microsoft), VS Code (Microsoft's editor), or NPM (runs on Microsoft infrastructure). Nothing says "I have principles" quite like selectively applying them only when it doesn't inconvenience your workflow. The cognitive dissonance is strong with this one.

Ah, the eternal GitHub pronunciation debate has finally been settled by presidential decree! The pixel art podium has spoken: "It's pronounced 'JitHub'." Just imagine all those developers who've been saying "GitHub" with a hard G for years, suddenly questioning their entire existence. Next thing you know, they'll tell us SQL is actually pronounced "squirrel" and Python is "pie-thon." The best part? This is clearly a matter of national security, hence the flags. Nothing says "this pronunciation is non-negotiable" like a pixelated presidential address. I don't make the rules, I just enforce them with my pull requests.