It Scares Me: Git Rebase Edition

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute AUDACITY of this job market! 😱 They want THREE programming languages and FIVE whole GitHub repos?! So this absolute LEGEND just pushed five "Hello World" projects and called it a day! 💅 It's the coding equivalent of putting "proficient in Microsoft Word" on your resume because you once wrote a grocery list! The bare minimum malicious compliance is sending me to the MOON right now! Job requirements these days are truly the greatest comedy show on earth!

Look at that shower tile pattern—it's literally a GitHub contribution graph in your bathroom! Meanwhile, your own GitHub profile is emptier than a cache after clearing browser history. The shower is out here making daily contributions while you're still debugging that same for loop from last Tuesday. Guess who's getting more stars on their repos? Not you, buddy.

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute AUDACITY of this code reviewer demanding "Assembly support" on a PR, only to get the most eloquent two-word response in programming history! 💀 And then the author just MERGES IT ANYWAY! That's the digital equivalent of flipping someone off, driving away in their Ferrari, and throwing confetti out the window. The 556 thumbs up vs. the reviewer's measly 9 is just *chef's kiss* perfection. For the uninitiated, "LGTM" stands for "Looks Good To Me" - the irony here is just... *dramatic sigh* ...exquisite.

When your junior dev creates a pull request without running tests, fixing linting errors, or even reviewing their own code. Just smashes that green button and expects everyone else to clean up the mess. And the worst part? We've all been that dev at some point. Nothing says "not my problem anymore" like a hastily created PR with the commit message "fix stuff".

The tech industry's version of David vs. Goliath just got real. On one side, we've got trillion-dollar titans like Google, NVIDIA, OpenAI, and Meta throwing endless resources at the GPU and AI arms race. On the other? Just DeepSeek and their single open-source repo taking them all on. It's that classic moment when some scrappy engineer in their pajamas pushes code that makes corporate execs choke on their $12 lattes. Ten years of VC funding and board meetings outperformed by someone who probably debugs with print statements. The beautiful chaos of open source – where sometimes the simplest solution from the smallest player completely disrupts the market that giants spent billions trying to corner. Welcome to tech, where your market cap means nothing when someone's weekend project goes viral.

The modern developer's balancing act, visualized with stunning accuracy. That precarious tower of cans represents what's actually holding up your code—a foundation of ChatGPT at the bottom (let's be honest, it's writing half your functions), Google searches above it (for the errors ChatGPT creates), followed by pure dumb luck, ancient GitHub repositories you found at 3 AM, and tutorial videos from that one Indian guy who explains algorithms better than your $200K computer science degree. And finally, at the very top, desperately balancing on this tower of digital desperation? Your actual code—looking just as confused as that dog wondering how it got up there and how long before the whole thing collapses during the next sprint review.