I Am The Director

The eternal GitHub vs GitLab debate summed up in one perfect comic. Sure, Mom says she loves both platforms equally, but we all know where her Git repository really lies. Let's be honest - every dev team claims to be "platform agnostic" until it's time to actually choose where to host code. Then suddenly GitHub gets all the attention while GitLab sits in the corner wondering why its CI/CD pipeline and integrated DevOps features aren't enough to win Mom's heart. The "by a lot" is what kills me. It's that brutal honesty you only get after 3am during a production outage.

Regular people worry about ignoring texts and relationships. Developers just want to know which files to add to .gitignore so their repo doesn't get cluttered with garbage. The sweet relief on that dev's face when he discovers he can ignore node_modules instead of pushing 500MB of dependencies to GitHub. Pure bliss. Meanwhile, his relationship status remains "it's complicated with package-lock.json."

Oh. My. GOD. The absolute TRAGEDY of modern programming in one image! 😭 Once upon a time, coding legends casually CARVED ENTIRE OPERATING SYSTEMS from raw binary—FOR FUN! Like majestic stallions galloping up a beautifully carved staircase. Meanwhile, today's developers (myself included) are basically that sad little toy horse, drowning in frameworks, Stack Overflow, Git issues, and caffeine, screaming "NOTHING WORKS" into the void while frantically copying code snippets. We've evolved from digital sculptors to digital BEGGARS. The audacity of us calling ourselves "programmers" while we're just gluing libraries together and praying!

The ultimate manifestation of programmer desperation: slapping a crying cat meme on your car begging for code review approvals. When your pull requests have been sitting in limbo for so long that you've resorted to vehicular advertising. That sad little "just let me merge pls" hits different when you've been waiting three days for Chad from backend to stop "getting to it later." Next level: hiring skywriters to beg senior devs to approve your commits.

The eternal dilemma of the open source developer - choosing between social life and that burning desire to fix just one more bug before bed. That pull request isn't going to submit itself! Meanwhile, the GitHub contribution graph waits for no one. The real relationship status? "It's complicated... with my repository." The most committed relationship in his life is the one with his commit history.

That smug satisfaction when someone doubts your code and then it passes CI/CD on the first try. You just sit there, puffed up like this eagle, radiating pure "I told you so" energy. No words needed—just that look of absolute vindication. Bonus points if you pushed without running tests locally because you live dangerously and trust your instincts. The dopamine hit is unmatched. It's the developer equivalent of a mic drop, except the mic is your keyboard and you're just sitting there looking incredibly pleased with yourself.