Git Ignore Everything

The natural evolution of a programmer's code sources, illustrated with perfect animal metaphors. Your journey begins with "some random blog" (scrawny rat) for those desperate 2AM solutions. Then you graduate to GitHub (slightly more respectable dog) where at least someone reviewed the code. Stack Overflow (fat rat) is where you go when you're truly desperate - bloated with answers but somehow still works. And finally, "my code" - that weird hybrid creature that somehow functions despite looking like it was assembled from spare parts at 4AM after 6 energy drinks. It's not pretty, but it walks! Ship it to production!

This meme is playing on the Git version control system's terminology where the default branch was traditionally called "master" before many organizations changed it to "main" for more inclusive language. The joke suggests an executive order to revert back to using "master" branch, presented as if it's a controversial political decree. Perfect for developers who've lived through the Great Branch Rename Drama of 2020 and still have strong opinions about it. The real comedy is that some devs probably spent more time arguing about branch names than actually writing code!

Junior devs with unrestricted server access and zero version control knowledge are basically walking disasters with commit privileges. It's like handing a toddler a flamethrower and saying "try not to burn down the data center!" Their confidence is inversely proportional to their Git knowledge, making them the most dangerous entities in the tech ecosystem. One wrong move and suddenly production is running on a single file called "final_version_ACTUALLY_FINAL_v2_USE_THIS_ONE.js"

The irony of Bjarne Stroustrup—you know, just the guy who created C++ —having only one green square on his GitHub contribution graph is chef's kiss material. Recruiters everywhere are frantically updating their "red flags" documentation. Meanwhile, the person who invented the language that powers half the world's critical infrastructure would probably get auto-rejected by the ATS systems he helped make possible. Next interview question: "So, Mr. Stroustrup, what would you say you actually do here?"

THE AUDACITY! The literal creator of Git and Linux - revolutionary tools that power our entire digital universe - has a modest standing desk and basic setup. Meanwhile, some random tech influencer who probably can't write a for-loop without Stack Overflow has a nuclear-powered RGB spaceship with enough monitors to surveil a small country! The irony is SUFFOCATING me. The person who built the foundation of modern computing doesn't need 47 fans glowing like a radioactive Christmas tree to validate his existence. True genius requires only a functional workspace and ZERO rainbow lighting.

Ah, the unmistakable signature of a junior developer's code comments! That stop sign with the helpful clarification "THIS IS A STOP SIGN" perfectly captures the redundant commenting style that senior devs silently judge. It's like writing i++; // increments i by 1 or // The following function calculates the sum right above a function literally named calculateSum() . The code review gods weep silently as another obvious comment gets committed to the repo. Self-documenting code? Never heard of her.