Git Ignore Everything

When your coworker casually drops a commit labeled "Small Fixes" that changes 12,566 lines and deletes 10,508 lines. The shock and horror! That's not a small fix—that's reconstructive surgery on the codebase! Future you will be digging through git blame wondering what nuclear explosion happened that day. And good luck with the code review... "LGTM" is about to become "Let God Take Me."

THE ABSOLUTE BETRAYAL! 😱 Running git blame only to discover YOU were the monster all along! It's that soul-crushing moment when you dramatically unmask the villain responsible for that nightmare bug and—PLOT TWIST—it's just your past self staring back, silently judging your life choices. The digital equivalent of opening the fridge to find someone ate the last slice of pizza, and then remembering it was you at 3 AM. Self-sabotage has never been so perfectly documented!

Oh, the classic "I've been nodding along in meetings for 6 months" syndrome! This poor soul has reached that critical point in every tech project where admitting ignorance feels more terrifying than continuing the charade. Meanwhile, production is probably on fire, deployments are failing, and this person's search history is just "what is devops" and "how to pretend you understand kubernetes." The irony is that actual DevOps engineers spend half their careers explaining what DevOps actually is... to people who should already know!

The code review terror is real. That moment when your PR meets the unforgiving gaze of a senior dev who's seen it all—including every mistake you're about to make. You're just huddled in the corner, clutching your keyboard, wondering if your variable naming conventions are about to trigger another 45-minute lecture on "the right way to code." Meanwhile, the senior dev looms like a terrifying mechanical overlord, ready to dismantle your self-esteem function by function. Six months of experience vs six years of accumulated cynicism isn't even a fair fight.

The expectation vs reality of code collaboration. Left side: dreamy thoughts about teamwork and shared brilliance. Right side: the existential crisis that hits when you actually see their spaghetti code with zero comments, nested ternaries, and variables named 'x1', 'x2', and 'final_x_i_promise'. Nothing quite matches the psychological damage of inheriting someone's "it works, don't touch it" masterpiece.

Oh. My. God. The EVOLUTION of code sharing has reached its FINAL FORM! 🧠✨ First, we have GitHub - the BARE MINIMUM of human intelligence. Then Google Drive - slightly more evolved but still tragically basic. Taking PICTURES of your code? Honey, that's the digital equivalent of a cave painting! But the ABSOLUTE GALAXY BRAIN MOVE? Reading your code aloud and publishing it as an audiobook on Amazon! I am DECEASED! 💀 Imagine debugging by listening to someone dramatically narrate their if-else statements like it's Shakespeare! Next week: interpretive dance of your codebase streamed live on Twitch. I simply cannot with this industry anymore!