The Secret Language Of Version Numbers

Content Newbie: So which programming language should I learn first? Programmers:

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Content dry talks warm beer cold pizza what am i doing here?

Ah, the classic beginner's dilemma. You're just trying to pick up coding, overwhelmed by the buffet of languages spread before you—Python, JavaScript, C#, Java—each one promising to be the one . Meanwhile, seasoned devs are in the corner cackling with their Rust bottles like some coding cult. The truth? After 15 years in this industry, I've watched languages come and go faster than startup CEOs after funding runs out. The beginners panic about which pill to swallow while the veterans know the real drug was memory safety and zero-cost abstractions all along. Rust is like that friend who does CrossFit—they won't shut up about it, but damn if they aren't in better shape than the rest of us garbage-collected peasants.

The three stages of a developer's evolution: happy-go-lucky naivety when writing any code, mild concern when considering maintainability, and finally reaching god-tier enlightenment when writing code someone else has to maintain. Nothing quite says "I've transcended mortality" like crafting a labyrinth of nested callbacks with zero comments that some poor soul will inherit after you've moved on to greener pastures. It's not sabotage—it's job security!

Found the programmer who doesn't have friends arguing about Rust's memory safety at 2 AM! Look, if your Discord isn't blowing up with heated debates about why TypeScript is JavaScript's responsible older sibling, are you even in tech? The real programming career milestone isn't your first job—it's when you realize your social circle's value is directly proportional to how passionately they can trash talk Python's GIL while simultaneously defending PHP as the misunderstood genius of web development. Remember kids: friendships are temporary, but language wars are forever. Your NETWORK is your NET WORTH... especially when you need someone to debug your code at midnight.